One thing I realize is that allowing and accepting thoughts about a person to run unchecked/wild will soon bring about nasty outbursts. Granted people do terrible things to each other, but allowing that to entertain endless thinking/fantasy can soon bring about more trouble. I have found/experience this personally. Now if there is a ‘situation’ with a person, then better to have an on-the-spot conversation and try to sort things out, and writing it about it can really assist too. The last thing to do is just keep on thinking about that person what he/she said/did etc, etc. Because nowadays energies can quickly build up and lead to nasty situations. All that starts with ‘thinking’. Yes if there is a ‘situation’ with a person one has to think about the practical matters, how to sort things out, how to work it out etc, but allowing/accepting anything more than the practical thinking can lead to accumulation of mind-energies. Once that energy builds up, an outburst is only a matter of time. “Evil energy” will possess you, make you say/do crazy shit which you will regret later, so don’t’ be sorry later on might as well contain the thinking now.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that thinking nowadays leads to accumulation and build up of energy and once the energy builds up, an outburst point is only moments away. In this I see/realize that I have the responsibility to contain/check my thinking through breathing and being here. The temptation to think, especially think nasty shit is always here, so it will take an effort on my part to ground myself here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in above and beyond practical thoughts/thinking and compromise my body, the substance, and not see/realize that I am building up, accumulating mind-energy for later explosion.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that reason to think constantly is to keep a story alive in my head, to keep energy excitement alive, to keep a war alive in the head, to keep a fight/anger alive in the head, to keep the enemies alive in the head, in this I see/realize I am creating cartoon characters in my mind and keeping them alive by constantly thinking about them.
So I see that the solution is simply NOT to think, live breath by breath and ground myself here in this breath. Because once the thinking machine starts, there is no end, which can soon lead to fantasy where many more stories are created/re-created and mind-energy is really build up. To outburst is really simple from that point on. Each breath, no thoughts, just walk, breath by breath. Consider practical thoughts yes, but fancy stuff, no imagination, no storytelling, all that can nowadays really land self in trouble. So I am here, breathing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize “I like, I don’t’ like” is also of the mind, therefore when and as I see myself operating with “I like, I don’t like” principle, I stop, I breathe. In this I direct myself to see what is best for all, and what is common sense, instead of giving into the mind’s likes/dislikes.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that ‘thoughts’ cannot give anything more than just energy in the mind, in this I see/realize that even thoughts are not real until I act upon them and create physical consequences for myself.
When and as I see myself thinking about a person constantly because there is a situation or an issue to sort out, I stop, I breathe and not allow myself participate in thinking shit about that person, because I see/realize soon it will lead to a nasty energy bursting out situation. Instead I direct myself to talk to them and sort things out.
When and as I see myself thinking shit about another, I stop, I breathe. When and as I see myself thinking in general without any practical direction, I stop, I breathe, because I realize just casual thinking is the trigger for energies to build up/accumulate which later can explore.
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