Tag Archives: journey to life

Day 307 – I am an Addict. I am Addicted to the Energies of the Mind.

Posted on by
Reply

Mind is an addiction machine, a whole lot of things I do are a result of addiction. How I think is an addiction, what I think is an addiction, my anger is an addiction, my mood is an addiction, my general emotional/mental state is an addiction, my sexual desires are an addiction, how I look at women is an addiction, how I talk to women is an addiction, my fears are an addiction, believe it or not, yes I am addicted to my fears.

When I say addiction I mean they are predictable and pattern driven. You can bet 99% on how I will behave, because it is predictable, and it’s addictive, just like how one can predictive the next move of a drug addict. The addict will only look for one thing, the next fix, no matter what. So I see/realize that I am an addict, I am addicted to energy-buzz within the mind, in whatever ways I create them. The days when I was a porn addict I couldn’t stop watching them; every Saturday night was my ‘blue nuit’, the blue night, the night of soft porn on the French channel. And porn addiction has nothing to do with availability of sex, it’s a mind addiction. And so I see/realize how I am addicted to almost everything within my mind, as I listed before, anger, jealousy, moods, ways of thinking, lust, desire for quick sexual thrills, flirting, bad moods, blaming, yes I am addicted to blaming, it gives me something to my mind, a high.

Only way to safely say that I am out of my addiction, and that my addictions are not ruling me, is when I am breathing as ‘in-breath, pause, out-breath’, with that rhythm of breathing, slowing myself down in and as breath, only then I can be trusted as an addiction-free human being. I mean its common sense one would find hard to trust a drug addict, because we know the addict looks for only thing, the next fix. Same way how can anyone trust me, because I am also looking for the next energy/mind fix, in my case it’s not a substance abuse as in some drug abuse, but allowing the abuse of the real substance of me, the physical as I participate in the mind.

So this is a new realization for me, I am an addict. I think like an addict, I act like an addict, I behave like an addict, the signs are obvious, and now related consequences are obvious.

So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that I am an addict, I am addicted to the ways of my mind, I am addicted to the emotions, feelings, thoughts of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that I am addicted to the quick thrills of my emotional/energy thrills of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that I am addicted to the highs and lows of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that I have an addiction, that I am addicted to the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that in every breath I am acting/behaving/talking/thinking like an addict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that in every breath some addictive pattern is running active. So in this I see/realize that I am always at the risk of living as an addict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize I am addicted to fears of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that I am addicted to my sexual urges and thrill seeking. More than the actual physical sex itself, the energetic idea of sexual thrills is an addiction in itself. In this I see/realize that I have allowed and accepted this energy mind addictive behavior within me. It’s an addiction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that my tendency to blame others is an addiction. It’s an addictive mind pattern that I have allowed within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that ‘thinking’ about others, thinking shit about others is an addiction, addictive pattern I have allowed within me, in me as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that ‘anger’ is an addictive pattern that I have allowed within me, so I direct myself to breathe and stop this addiction within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that ‘fear’ is addiction I have allowed within me as me.

So I see that almost every emotional state, desire, sexual desires, sexual thrills, anger, blame, thinking, fears, are all my mind addictions, I am addicted to them. I must have them to get my mind’s fix.

When and as I see myself running/riding on the emotions of my mind, I see/realize that I am giving into my mind’s addiction, an addictive pattern is alive, active, its controlling me, so I stop, and I breathe. I ground myself to earth by breathing, because I know there is no escape from mind-energy only breathing can assist me.

I have said these words before, now consequences are here, so this time around I have to really check my mind and its contents before they rule me. I will direct myself to breathe, not allowing, giving into the mind’s justifications, mind’s voice that says “it’s ok, just this 1 time only, nobody will know, common, everybody is doing it, just 1 time only”, etc, I know the voice of the mind can convince me to do anything, so I stop it, I breathe. The voice of the mind is only powerful if I allow it to have the power. So I breathe and take control of myself.

Enough of living in and as the emotional highs/lows of my mind, enough of living as an addict, an energy/drug addict always rushing/looking for the next fix. I mean that’s exactly how I have I been lately, looking for a fix, to appease my mind. Where is my life integrity, in giving into the mind I give up my life-integrity. So no more, I stop, I breathe, checking my mind, breath by breath.  

Join us: www.desteni.org

 

Day 300: Milestones are about Enlightenment. This is a Journey to Life, Breath-by-Breath.

Posted on by
Reply

EnlightenmentHard to believe I have reached to day 300. That’s the good news, but the bad news is I missed about 40 days in that, I should been around 300+ today, so that reminds me to reassess my commitment to daily writing because I have missed a whole lot of days.

There is no big deal in reaching day 300, I mean, I am still a mind, a mind consciousness system, a lot of systems are running within me, so no cheer or applause for this milestone. I mean there are no milestones in this journey, milestones would imply enlightenment. This is a JOURNEY, a JOURNEY to LIFE, investigating, self-forgiving what I have accepted and allowed within myself and within this world as myself. So to declare any form of celebration upon reaching this day 300 is rather arrogant and stupid. There is a lot of self-work to do and a WHOLE lot of world-work to do. Just look around what’s going in this physical reality, how much abuse, how much man-made suffering is inflicted up us all.

So will there ever be a celebration, yeh for sure, when ‘heaven is on earth’ when no human is homeless, or starving or fearing, or worried, or in agony etc, etc. I mean at the moment this world is a hell, the systems are causing hell to us all, well we created them as such. So we must correct them and put in place a new system that is best for all.

In that I have a great self-responsibility, and that is to establish self-equality within me, to bring the heaven/mind to earth/body. So no applause for reaching day 300, very childish indeed to think in those terms given the gravity of the situation both for self and world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize bringing the mind(heaven) to body(earth) is my first responsibility. And god/Jesus is not going to do it for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my process in terms of milestones, I mean this is not a pet project, or a work project to set milestones, this is a JOURNEY to LIFE, where I will see/realize and let go off what I have accepted and allowed within me. I see/realize enlightenment however is a milestone, an achievement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that JOURNEY to LIFE is a self-realization walk, where I bring down the heaven/mind to earth/body, instead of living in the mind, I become aware of breath/body here, in each breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize milestones would imply I am walking to achieve, to obtain, to get something, instead of just living HERE in this breath, in fact my journey is to HERE. To this breath.   

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a sense of energy excitement to this day 300, thinking and believing that I have achieved something, not seen/realizing this is simply a journey, writing daily and yes allowing a process of accumulation to occur, but that’s not an achievement but a self-realization.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel good’ that I reached day 300, not seen/realizing that ‘feeling good’ is the work of the mind-conscious system, feeding the mind rather.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the Journey to Life in terms of milestones, instead of just seen it as a breath by breath, day by day walk, writing, breathing, self-forgiving and then birthing self as life, HERE. I can only get HERE, going anywhere else is enlightenment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize there are no targets, no goals, no objectives, no milestones, simply breathing and becoming/getting HERE, in and as breath and birthing self as life through the physical.

So I let the so-called excitement for reaching day 300 go, I mean, what is there to be excited about, this is a breath by breath journey.

When and as I see my process in terms of milestones I stop, I breathe, because I see/realize milestone is about enlightenment, and this process is about self-realization HERE in and as each breath.

When and as I see myself putting a pat on my back for reaching a certain day #, I stop, I breathe, because I realize this is simply an ongoing journey, till ‘heaven is on earth’, till all suffering ceases.

When and as I see myself reaching for goals, to get somewhere, I stop, I breathe, because I see/realize my real goal is HERE in the breath, and if I miss this breath, well that’s the journey to get HERE.

I also realize my commitment to this journey needs a reassessment meaning, to relook at how/why I am missing so many days in this journey so far, therefore I commit myself to give that time to myself daily, so that I can write down something for every day, not allowing even a day to MISS, because once I miss a day, that accumulates and a sense of guilt builds up, so that’s not cool. Therefore I commit myself to give myself that time every day, to write daily in this Journey to Life and live breath by breath, not seeking/looking for any milestone or enlightenment, I am here, I breathing.

Join us. www.desteni.org

Day 281 – Private Writings: Write 1000 words a Day to keep the Devil Away.

Posted on by
Reply
Join this FREE Self-Writing Course.

Join this FREE Self-Writing Course.

Private Writing is something I don’t want to share in public space, and I have discovered lately this Private Writing is of great assistance. Some shit I carry within me is bit too much for public sharing. And lately I have come to enjoy and realize the power of private writings (thanks to DIP lite free course lessons).

It’s for the first time, I am writing ENTIRELY within a personal space, absolutely nobody will ever read them, and in fact I don’t even save the document. So today, I wrote about 1000 words about a sad subject, I had been feeling sad about something lately, it was becoming a bit too much, so I typed a way 1000+ words, just RANTING and RAVING, and some self-forgiveness.

The point I want to share tonight here is making Private Writing also a daily activity. This is in addition to my Journey to Life daily blogging. I feel my private, more expressive, more open daily writings will assist me in JTL as well.

So call it a private blog and a public blog, a private Journey to Life and a public Journey to Life.  I mean somethings I am just not comfortable sharing in public spaces, so viola, I found a solution to that too.

I realize I must make this Private Writing a daily activity, without taking too much time on it, as no need for formatting, or linking, or posting, anything like, mere typing time only, so I think it will be very fast, and quick, may be 30 minutes max. but its value is invaluable, as I found it now.

I have not been much of a writer, it’s a new thing to me, happened only since meeting desteni. So trying out this private writing is a cool discovery for me.  It’s like going to the toilet to release private matters. Now I know I have found a nice little tool for myself.

I commit myself to do this Private Writing every day.

I commit myself to at least write 1000 words in my Private Writings every day.

I commit myself to ground myself in this private writing habit so to assist myself in my overall blogging and writing skills.

I commit myself to every day sit down for 30 minutes and give myself that private moment, to do some private writings, at least 1000 words.

I commit myself to see/realize private or public writing matters not, it’s in fact only a matter of self-intimacy, self-correction, self-forgiveness, and self-release. It’s all about becoming blunt, real, and truthful to self, and in that developing self-trust.

I commit myself to see/realize that I have to do this Private Writing business for at least 21 days consecutively to get into the groove of things. So that it becomes my 2nd nature.

In this I see/realize, this is all about becoming self-honest, private or public, writing is mere a tool to dig my shit out, in a self-honest, real way. No hiding, no bullshit is possible. I have a subtle feeling that: is private writing/blogging more honest than my public blogging? That’s not acceptable, both are equally self-honest and real, it just some content is more shitty in nature, so I call it ‘private-writing’, also, it’s done in a quick and fast manner, in a shorter time, a quick therapy sort of. But this must be done daily.

I commit myself to write my private writings daily, at least 1000 words, bit like a quicky.

Its true, an apple day will keep the doctor away, but what will keep the devil away? I say write your shit out daily. Here the devil is merely your own acceptances and allowances. And you can slay your devil privately or publicly, some demons are so shitty its easy to slay them in private. 

Join us at our FREE course.

 

Day 276: Self-Honesty is KEY to Self-Correction.

Posted on by
Reply
Join this FREE Self-Writing Course.

Join this FREE Self-Writing Course.

Daily writing is a commitment, I mean they wouldn’t have named it ‘daily writing’ if it means write when you can or when you feel like it. That’s the thing about daily writing, it must be written daily, every day. Yesterday I wrote yesterday’s blog, but I couldn’t’ finish it, so today I finished it and now focusing on today’s blog, basically 1.5 blogs for today, not cool. I say write 1 per day, and write that 1 per day as a commitment to daily writing.

Another vital point I have to face in my daily writing is, what am I writing about? For whom am I writing this for? I mean am I writing this as a ‘journal’ for others to read, those are cool questions, if not properly understood I could end up deluding myself. First and foremost, this is self-writing; this is my own guideline I am setting for myself, by looking at my own points to sort them out. I mean, this blog in no way whatsoever a publication for others.

But then one could ask the question why do I even publish? Well, this is shared, yes, but not shared as a newspaper or something to get or keep the readers occupied. This is simply sharing my SHIT out, and by reading this if you find that you too have similar shit then, perhaps this might show you some tips for you to work on yourself, but this is MY GUIDELINE for me, and this will NOT BE YOUR guideline, not at all.

That’s an important reminder for myself that I am writing as self-writing. I am writing this for me, to sort my shit out. Because in the deep secret background of my mind there is a voice saying “do a good job so the readers will like your blog”. Now that’s the height of self-delusion, naming it ‘Journey to Life’ but really wanting attention from others. Sharing is cool, no doubt, but this is not about others, this writing is about ME. This is MY JOURNEY TO LIFE.

So that brings home a cool point. I must really dig deep into points, have to really see/examine in total self-honesty, and I must write things as a guideline for myself. How would I make quick little notes to remind things for myself? Just like that, this is a reminder to me, a guideline to me. Certainly this can assist others, that’s a bonus, but I am not a publication for others, this is self-writing, for self-correction, for self-change. I still care to produce a readable, clean, decent piece of writing every day, but the content is entirely about myself, my SHIT, done in complete self-honesty.

There is no point in deceiving myself. I would be wasting 7 years in doing so. Hence it’s vital I really see how I write, am I preaching? Who am I preaching to? Or am I writing to myself as a guideline?

A sincere, clear, clean through self-look at myself is what this journal is all about, otherwise I am only pretending here, am I pretending to correct myself here? Am I pretending to forgive myself here? Am I pretending to correct points? Am I trying to look like a cool destonian? I mean it’s obvious, honesty within self is absolutely paramount here, if any change to take place at all. No self-honesty, no change. Simple.

Showing off my change is a clear sign that I am not changing, just playing good old game with a new name. So again, my honestly within me, call it self-honesty, is vital here. Breathing is important in this regard, breathing to sort of verify within me what the fuck am I writing. Breathe, pause, write, and breathe, check-within as Anu would nicely put it.

I commit myself to breathe as I write so that I can verify/check to myself that I am not wondering into show-off land.  

I commit myself to look within as I write, to see the self-honesty of my expression, my guideline here. So that I won’t be deluding myself.

I commit myself look at the points in complete self-honesty, not just gloss over it, not just pick and chose the aspects of a point, rather to investigate in full honesty about a given point. Because I see I can ‘present’ a part of myself just to be cool, which is really not cool. It would self-delusion.

I commit myself to slow down, not rush, not write just to get a blog out, but rather slow down as in breathing, and then look a point for the day. In this I commit myself to be humble, not hard on myself, not judgmental, not fake, not crony, not pretending, no self-deluding.

I commit myself to realize that this self-writing process is a journey of self-correction and so there couldn’t be anything fake or bullshit in that, because bullshitting implies I am lying so clearly self-correction cannot even begin when there are LIES.

I commit myself to look at myself and actually dig things out, but self-honesty first.

Join us.

Day 261 or Day 2610: Daily writing is a Self-Process, not a McDonald’s quick fix to my madness.

Posted on by
Reply
Self-Expanding, Self-Writing Course.

Self-Expanding, Self-Writing Course.

In relation to rushing things, its cool to read today that an individual blog is a moment of writing, a point within a day, so one could have multiple blogs in a day. I suppose the point is individual blog is really a unique writing expression/moment/realization. There is no point however in rushing in blogging, or jacking up the numbering of the blogs just to make it appear that ‘I am progressing’. I remember when first started this Journey to Life blogging nearly one year ago (Friday the 13th April 2012 to be exact and oddly enough), I was very eager to get the numbers up, as if I want to lead in numbers within the desteni life bloggers.

WTF. this is really about self, self-realization, self-understanding, self-standing, self-correction, self-forgiveness, taking self-responsibility etc. There is no race to ‘get over there’. Yes this is a 7-year Journey to Life, a minimum of 7 years, but it’s not a race to reach the magic 7 year number. So I direct myself to write point by point, moment by moment, correcting myself on each point instead of focusing on the ‘day number’ of the blog.

Today I could re-title my blog as “Day 2610″ and be done with this Journey to Life in an instant fast food McDonald’s style, would it help me or anyone else?

The key is consistency, daily application, committing to write daily, committing to take that time for self, for self-reflection. So to turn this into a number race is not only stupid, but utterly counter productive. So I stop any urge or desire within me to jack up the Day number just to make it appear as if I am making serious progress in this Journey. I stop I breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be concerned about the numbering of the blog just to appear, project an image of ‘making progress’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize this is a self-process of writing myself to freedom point by point, not a race against anyone to win or show off.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize self-writing is a time for self to self-examine, self-forgive and self-correct, this is not a race, not a show, not a statement of authority or an attempt at popularity, this is a self-journey to correct myself, my mind. in this I see/realize I must direct myself to breathe, slow down, self-reflect and write for myself, to birth myself as life. It would be an utter waste of 7 years if I use this tool/journey to impress others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize this process, this  journey is for me to look at me, point by point and write myself to freedom, in that I see/realize how stupid it is to turn this into a show off point. I stop I breathe.

I dedicate myself to take a moment every day, to reflect, to self-examine, and then to write about the points I am facing/seen/realizing instead of rushing to produce a blog to impress others, or to jack up the blog number to appease my ego. It could be easily Day 2610 today, would that make any difference to ‘Who Am I’? I am still me, the shit still is within me. So it’s not even the Journey to Life that matters, rather it is that one moment of writing through reflection, self-forgiveness and self-correction here in this ONE MOMENT. And that ONE MOMENT applied daily accumulates slowly but surely over 7+ years.

When and as I see myself rushing to get a blog out, I stop, I breathe, and I direct myself to instead look at a point, reflect on it, examine it, and then correct it with commitment statements and self-forgiveness. I see/realize that rushing through blogging is useless, I see that jacking up the blogging day number to show off an apparent progress self is making is useless.

I stop, I breathe.

Join us in this FREE Life changing self-expanding self-study course:

Day 251 – Writing as Instant Therapy: Write it out when you’re upset, angry, or in a bad mood.

Posted on by
Reply

I have been writing for a while now, but today I tried something new, as I was not feeling all that great this morning, I can see some nasty feelings were boiling inside me, so I opened the notepad application and started to write, giving instant direction. Within 15-20 minutes into writing I can experience a relief which really assisted me.

What did I write about? I wrote a bit of ranting and raving, then some self-forgiveness along with some self-realization statements. Such an instant therapy is to map/place what’s going on in that moment onto writing. Basically instead of holding/carrying in the head, I just dumped it onto a notepad.

Nice use of notepad software btw. And I didn’t bother saving the document after, I don’t need to, I wrote it, got things cleared, and move on. So this is something I would like to employ on a regular basis, writing as Instant Therapy. Such a simple thing, seemingly mindless to write out like that, but hey, very effective.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that writing out my shit is a cool way to release and let go of what I have been carrying within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize there is no format or structure in instant writing, just writing it out, just putting shit onto the paper. The mere act of writing grounds me in and as the physical, not the structure or format of writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, instant therapy writing is something I have resisted within the belief that it has no power to help me, it has no power to remove my misery, within that implying that I need an external force, counselor, friend to assist me out of the mind possession. But in writing self-stands alone, its instant self-therapy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get caught in the structure and methods of writing and actually delay the act of writing itself. Not seen/realizing what matters in the heat of emotional possession is to sit down and write the shit out, just write it. Worrying about style or structure is rather useless. Grounding myself in as the physical is the key.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not gift myself this nice little daily tool, this instant therapy, writing as and when I get possessed by emotions. I see/realize and now I have experienced how effective it is to get into the physical, and writing is all about getting into the physical.

So I commit myself throughout the day, when and as I see myself ‘feeling odd’, to write the shit out quickly.

I commit myself any time of the day, when and as I see myself going into the mind and getting a bit lost up there, to direct myself to employ this instant writing tool as a quick self-support. I see/realize this quick writing, even for 10 minutes can ground me take me out of my head.

I commit myself to realize, breathing, along with getting myself into the physical is a cool self-support. And instant writing is awesome in this.

I commit myself to take this instant writing therapy tool as a regular activity, until it becomes my second nature.

In this culture of Instant McDonald’s solutions for our problems, here we go, I have found an instant solution for my emotional swings, to WRITE them out like taking a pill, even for 10 minutes of quick and fast writing will right the shit out.

Join us and learn writing with this FREE course: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

 

Day 241 – Charmed by some, and repelled by others? Stand as Equals by Breathing.

Posted on by
Reply

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself differently depending on who is around. meaning, with some I feel bad and with some I feel nice, feels good, in that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the picture of the person, the personality of the person affects how I experience myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the essence of LIFE is the SAME in all, yet I smile with some, I frown with some, I avoid some, I like and dislike some, and I cannot absolutely stand some, etc, in this I forgive me for not seen/realizing that its not the BEING that I am communicating or interacting with, rather their picture presentation, their personality, their sexual outlooks, their smiles, their natural charm, basically anything to feed my mind is what I like in the other, never ever considering the BEING of the person, the essence of LIFE in the person.

This is a great lesson for me, because I see more and more how selective I have become, how I pick and chose whom to socialize or whom to avoid, all base on their presentations, pictures, and my experience of it. And of course, the sweeter the smile, more lovely the experience, and the joy of interaction becomes. Because it gives me a high feeling to chit-chat, interact with a lovely, charming, make-me-feel-good person.

And likewise some people I avoid outright, not even the courteousness to say hello. The root reason for this is, me living within my mind/consciousness therefore I see/realize breathing in as the physical is the KEY to resolve this problem, otherwise I will have to move from charm to charm, looking for more charm, and never seen the BEING, the LIFE in the person.

True, it is super difficult to not to be charmed by a sweet smiling hot darling, likewise it is so difficult to speak, chit-chat, communicate with a super obnoxious pig. But that is what equality is all about, seen the essence of LIFE in all, equally. So there is no hard-code rule for this, the solution however I see is in self-breathing, standing as breath HERE, breathing, in and as the physical. Because in that as I become ME, I will be able to stand with the lowest to the highest equally, as I am one and equal to them all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the reason why I like and dislike is because I have not embraced myself first, I am not here as breath, I am only here as a mind, as consciousness, therefore easily been pushed and pulled by energetic likeness and dislike-ness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, there are 7 billion people here, so standing equal to all would mean, I stand within me as breath, as life, as physical, in that I am able to stand with anyone, equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the key is to breathe, not to miss even a single breath, otherwise mind will run, and it direct my life. in this I see/realize breathing is the key to equality, to remain as physical, and not as a mind.

How will I stand equal to the lowest point in existence? only through breath and breathing, in that I am able to be within me, as physical, as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, liking and disliking, being charmed and repelled are all consciousness/mind at work, therefore when and as I see myself liking, disliking, being charmed, being repelled by others, I stop, I breathe, realizing I am equal and one to all, as the very essence of LIFE, of the BEING is equal to me.

Join this FREE course, learn to write about yourself, your mind: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

Day 206 – ‘Journey to Life’ daily writing is not school homework, its about re-birthing Life.

Posted on by
Reply

I commit myself to see/realize that I must self-write everyday, not allowing myself to wonder around and get lost in my commitment. 

I commit myself to stop and breathe when and as I see myself looking for that valid excuse to avoid writing just for a day. 

I commit myself to stop waiting for the last minute, last hour to start writing, I realize that is a postponement tactic which often results in delaying or not writing at all.

I commit myself to sit down everyday and write myself to freedom, by participating in this journey to life blogging process. 

I write this tonight while the burden of postponement is heavily on my mind, wanting/desiring to give up for just tonight, with ample excuses on hand. So here I am directing to write something/anything.

I commit myself to breathe when and as I see myself going into the mind for juicy excuses to avoid the daily writing; I stop and I breathe. within this I forgive myself for not realizing this journey to life process is not a school assignment that I must do in hush hush, rather this is a life process, here I am rescripting my life to what is best for all. within this I forgive me for taking the approach of school home work and writing just to get the writing done, instead of realizing I am not just writing here, I am actually articulating myself to script a way of living that is best for all. I mean this is clearly not just writing a school assignment, this is about my life, how to change my life, how to birth my self again. 

I commit myself to really reflect, realize as I write, not just write any mumbo jumbo, this is about my life, I am scripting a new script for my life, so that what is best for all will be born. 

I recommit myself to journey to life writing process with much intensity meaning this time around I will be writing for me, writing about my life, my new path to live. Not just writing to appease a school master with daily home work. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see this journey to life writing as a home work, not realizing this writing is about my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just sneak in a last minute blog daily as if I am back in school, not realizing this blogging is about my life, so I direct myself to take the time daily, reflect, realize and write myself to freedom, instead of just doing this as a school home work.

I commit myself to take a moment to breathe, relax, and reflect before I embark on writing, and even as I write, I commit myself to breathe and ground myself so the writing will be an actual reflection/realization process, not a school home work.

I breathe, I let go, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be hard on myself with self judgement, so no self judgement here, only a realization that I will have to shift mode of writing from school home work to life work, meaning here I am writing about my life. 

Join us:
Desteni.org
EqualMoney.org
Journey To Life – blogs
Friend me – Facebook
Follow Me – Twitter
Life Support – Wiki
FREE online Self-Study Course – Join Today

Day 175 – Nobody is listening to my internal conversations. Thinking is insane.

Posted on by
Reply

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, when I think shit about other people, I am actually carrying shit about them inside my mind and possibly will experience shit in my relationship with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, carrying thoughts about others in my head in the start of experiencing shit in my relationship with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the simplest solution to peaceful living is to stop thinking shit about others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, once the thinking thoughts about others starts, it accumulates, the energy of it will create outflows.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, start of any bad relationship can be traced back to thoughts which I casually entertained about others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, a living being does not think, at least does not think shit compulsively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, as I think, I accumulate energy and it will manifest consequences accordingly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, thought by thought a mountain of energy can build up leading to unexpected outbursts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the key is the breathe and stop participating in thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am addicted to thinking, just that one thought, just that one nasty imagination, just that one bitter memory, just that one spiteful comment, just that one more blame so that I can feel better. in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I have an addiction problem, addicted to thinking. Just one more time, Just one more thought, is the excuse to keep on thinking, mostly shit about others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, there is no way through thinking, there is no light at the end of the tunnel of thinking, there is no salvation in thinking. Communication, talking, listening, writing, planning, doing, on the other hand, are ways to get things done, instead of just thinking and hoping that others are listening to my internal conversations. In fact nobody is listening to me, I am just silently blabbering to myself, which is called thinking.

When and as I see myself to blabbering to myself, just thinking away, I stop, I breathe, I see/realize/understand, that all I am doing is making noise inside my head, within my grey matter, nobody is listening, no actually communication is going on, it just mental noise, therefore I stop, I breathe, and I direct myself to actually engage in real, actual, physical acts of communication, speaking, talking, listening, writing, planning etc, instead of just being stuck in the mind world.

Join us:
Desteni.org
EqualMoney.org
Journey To Life – blogs
Friend me – Facebook
Follow Me – Twitter
Life Support – Wiki

Day 153 – Reacting to “likes” on Facebook is a drug for my mind, it can age me fast.

Posted on by
Reply

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy, and like the feelings of being “liked” on facebook.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with an energy response when I see “likes” on my facebook posts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to energetically react when I see “likes” on my facebook postings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to share things within the subtle hope of getting “likes” and therefore believing that people now actually like me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be liked by friends on facebook within that I forgive me for believing now that everyone likes me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be liked by others in one form or another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be loved by others in one form or another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want more “likes” within that I forgive me for believing that now my life is worth living because people “like” me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not share things within the responsibility to bring awareness to things that are going on in this world, instead share things to be “liked”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I still have not “liked” myself therefore desiring, seeking, wanting others to like me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy the “like” feelings on facebook, and within that I forgive me for reacting energetically when I see who has “liked” my postings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel happy when people “like” my posts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am existing on this earth for ONE and ONLY ONE reason it seems, and that is to be “liked” by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not realize, chasing, desiring, wanting, seeking the feelings from being “liked” is a sad state of affairs. within that I forgive me for not realizing, I have not accepted or liked myself, instead always want others to consider me, like me, love me, appreciate me, respect me, want me, pay attention to me, instead of me simply breathing here and doing what is best for ALL.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am here, the entirety of me is here as physical, it is my mind that is seeking fuel to feel Alive through energy and energetic reactions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am here breathing, my body/physical is here, my breath is here, only my mind is wandering. within this I see/realize/understand, breathing is the KEY to undo the desire for chasing energy fuels for my mind. I stop I breathe.

When and as I see myself reacting to “likes” on my facebook posts, I stop, I breathe, I breathe deeply, realizing that I am only supplying fuel to my mind by consuming my body because every emotional/energy reaction will consume the physical substance. so I stop, I breathe, hence I stop the fast ageing process due to my mind consuming my physical substance.

Join us:
www.Desteni.org and www.EqualMoney.org
www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife