Tag Archives: depressions

Day 137 – Moping ends with effective Breathing.

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that fear is an emotion therefore I cannot let it direct me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that fear is of the ego, mind, hence will do anything for its own survival, while life suffers at the hand of ego/mind/fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, fear of getting hurt is a major mindfuck, it fucks up big time, it closes my heart as well as forces the other to close their hearts because I did so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, fear of aloneness is not a reason to form an agreement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, fear of loneliness is not a reason to form agreement or marriage.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear been with people because I feel I need to be free at my own space, without having anyone to trouble me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people are troubling me and bothering me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, all my complaints of wanting space, freedom, are forms of blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, recalling, reMINDing of the past memories is reactivating the past to blame the present moment LIFE here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, reminder is to reMIND, re-enact the MIND, the system, the programs so the flesh, the real life, can be controlled and directed according to the will of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I totally have become the mind, hence only considering what is best for the mind and consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, living in the mind, is not best for all, in fact it is harmful for all. as mind cares for its own survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, these thoughts, emotions, and feelings, are really not who I am as life, yet within this I forgive me for allowing thoughts, emotions and feelings to direct me entirely.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, thoughts, emotions and feelings are subtle programs that are implanted within the flesh to direct and control me, however I see/realize/understand that I have the absolute self-power to stop all and any such embedded system codes within me. I mean, who is the ONE here? me or the code? Who decides me or the code?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that I am isolating myself because I am directed by the codes programmed as thoughts/emotions/feelings and yet finding it ‘hard’ to step outside thoughts/emotions/feelings, within this I forgive me for believing that I cannot or find it hard to step outside the control of thoughts/emotions/feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, blame is an outflow of compounded thoughts/emotions/feelings, blaming is voicing of the thoughts/emotions/feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, my desire to isolate myself from people is also the voicing of thoughts/emotions/feelings. just hide and  mope in isolation give thoughts/emotions/feelings all the attention they want, instead of moving/participating with people, listening, talking, doing things with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, breath/breathe is the key to disconnect the power of thoughts/emotions/feelings have over me. I decide to disconnect them by Breathing. Otherwise the addiction to the energy of thoughts/emotions/feeling keeps me stuck in a state of moping.

I see/realize/understand, again and again, I must redirect myself to BREATHE, otherwise all mighty mind will take over, the old patterns will return, so this is a breath by breath commitment to live, breathe, and do what is best for all.

When and as I see myself moping, stuck in thoughts/emotions/feelings, I realize I have hit a deadend, therefore I recommit myself breathe, and move myself physically, and really push myself to physically move, and get out of being stuck in thoughts/emotions/feelings. I am here as a physical being, I realize it is the thoughts/emotions/feelings that disconnects me from ALL and isolates me in a state of moping. I end moping with Breathing.

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Day 8 – “I Am Waiting” is an irresponsible Excuse.

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Day 8: Journey to Life: I am waiting, what an excuse!!!

Today, I heard this statement “I am waiting” (for something to be finished so I can get on with my own task), and sure enough I experienced anger, frustration, and disappointment. Taking it back to myself, I see it clearly, that I have used that very same excuse “I am waiting” for this/that so many times just to avoid taking self-responsibility.

“I am waiting” for him to send me the document, “I am waiting” for summer to arrive, “I am waiting” for a next weekend, “I am waiting” for my next vacation, “I am waiting” for my next birth, “I am waiting” for God. So on and on, a long list of “I am waiting” excuses, not realizing they just waste away my life in just waiting (till death of course then no more waiting/weighting).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak the words “I am waiting” for this or that, not realizing that’s a lame excuse. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak the words “I am waiting” so many times just to avoid taking self-responsibility to get the job done. Instead use that phase to avoid doing what is needed here. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak the words “I am waiting” to hide from taking self-responsibility. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak the words “I am waiting” to avoid facing my manifested consequences believing if “I just wait”, I can avoid facing them. Not realizing the more “I wait”, the more heavier the consequences will be and become. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that “I am waiting” is an excuse similar to saying “I am waiting” to die. I mean, the question is how long are you going to just “wait”, till death? till next life?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “wait” so that death can arrive while “I wait”, in that waste my entire life just “waiting” for others to move.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “wait” for God to solve this world’s problems. Basically “I am waiting” for God to act first. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize in speaking the words “I am waiting”, I am in fact allowing the abuses to continue. Because I am waiting for someone/God/masters/Gurus/teachers/others to fix them for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “wait” for so long. Instead of looking at the practical situation here, and asking the question “What can I do now”? and then moving myself to physical do them, I justify my irresponsibility by saying “I am waiting” for this or for that, or for death, or for God, so I can move my Butt eventually. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get frustrated within me today when I heard the words “I am waiting” because that is exactly what I have been doing all my life, “I am waiting” and wasting away without any actual self-directed movements. 

No more “I am waiting”. Instead I ask, “What can I do”? and then move myself within practical common sense to get the job done. 

So when and as I see myself giving excuses like “I am waiting” I stop, I breathe. Because I realize “I am waiting” could mean “I am waiting for death” or “I am waiting” for my next life to move my ass, and in that I will have wasted my life.

So, when and as I see myself giving that “I am waiting” excuse, I stop, and I breathe, and I ask the question “what can I do” and then move myself to actually do them.

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Day 5 – Bad Moods

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Day 5: Journey to Life. Releasing Bad Moods.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moody.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get drowned in moods.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get all emotionally swamped with moods.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to surrender myself to my moods, as if i have no self-power whatsoever over this mood i feel now and then.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize mood is doom,

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to my moods, moods of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel down and depressed as moods take over me.

i forgive myself that i  have accepted and allowed myself to feel all down, sad and depressed when moods take over me.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to demand others to assist me during my ‘down’ time, in that, i have not taken self responsibility to STOP my participation in the mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in my thoughts while moods run high and keep compounding the moods by further thinking.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame others during my mood times.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame and scold others during my mood times because i subtly believe that others have caused my moods.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself believe that my moods are caused by others and so they must be blamed and scold for it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry during my mood times. and let my anger roll onto my family members as verbal out bursts.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel agitation and irritation when i am in bad mood, and believe that i must run away from everyone to avoid my moods.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the whole world is hating me and disliking me during my mood times.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that nobody likes me because i am taken over by moods.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not realize this mood is recurring, because it is just an emotional rise and fall within the mind which i have created over the years by participating in thoughts.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my moods have more power than my breathing here as physical; meaning, i have allowed moods to take over me instead of just breathing here as life.

So when and as I experience that very familiar mood again, I simply STOP participating in   any thoughts, and I breathe. I will direct myself to drink ample water, I will direct myself to do something physical. Further, I will avoid participating in any discussions with anyone during such times. I will support myself by going for a walk, or doing self forgiveness out aloud, or just been physical, because I realize going to the head will take me to that old ugly town where i end up blaming and scolding others. Instead, I direct myself to breathe, and be physical, realizing it is my total self responsibility to NOT act out of my mind’s moods. i have a responsibility to simply STOP and just be here breathing.

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