Hard to believe I have reached to day 300. That’s the good news, but the bad news is I missed about 40 days in that, I should been around 300+ today, so that reminds me to reassess my commitment to daily writing because I have missed a whole lot of days.
There is no big deal in reaching day 300, I mean, I am still a mind, a mind consciousness system, a lot of systems are running within me, so no cheer or applause for this milestone. I mean there are no milestones in this journey, milestones would imply enlightenment. This is a JOURNEY, a JOURNEY to LIFE, investigating, self-forgiving what I have accepted and allowed within myself and within this world as myself. So to declare any form of celebration upon reaching this day 300 is rather arrogant and stupid. There is a lot of self-work to do and a WHOLE lot of world-work to do. Just look around what’s going in this physical reality, how much abuse, how much man-made suffering is inflicted up us all.
So will there ever be a celebration, yeh for sure, when ‘heaven is on earth’ when no human is homeless, or starving or fearing, or worried, or in agony etc, etc. I mean at the moment this world is a hell, the systems are causing hell to us all, well we created them as such. So we must correct them and put in place a new system that is best for all.
In that I have a great self-responsibility, and that is to establish self-equality within me, to bring the heaven/mind to earth/body. So no applause for reaching day 300, very childish indeed to think in those terms given the gravity of the situation both for self and world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize bringing the mind(heaven) to body(earth) is my first responsibility. And god/Jesus is not going to do it for me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my process in terms of milestones, I mean this is not a pet project, or a work project to set milestones, this is a JOURNEY to LIFE, where I will see/realize and let go off what I have accepted and allowed within me. I see/realize enlightenment however is a milestone, an achievement.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that JOURNEY to LIFE is a self-realization walk, where I bring down the heaven/mind to earth/body, instead of living in the mind, I become aware of breath/body here, in each breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize milestones would imply I am walking to achieve, to obtain, to get something, instead of just living HERE in this breath, in fact my journey is to HERE. To this breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a sense of energy excitement to this day 300, thinking and believing that I have achieved something, not seen/realizing this is simply a journey, writing daily and yes allowing a process of accumulation to occur, but that’s not an achievement but a self-realization.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel good’ that I reached day 300, not seen/realizing that ‘feeling good’ is the work of the mind-conscious system, feeding the mind rather.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the Journey to Life in terms of milestones, instead of just seen it as a breath by breath, day by day walk, writing, breathing, self-forgiving and then birthing self as life, HERE. I can only get HERE, going anywhere else is enlightenment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize there are no targets, no goals, no objectives, no milestones, simply breathing and becoming/getting HERE, in and as breath and birthing self as life through the physical.
So I let the so-called excitement for reaching day 300 go, I mean, what is there to be excited about, this is a breath by breath journey.
When and as I see my process in terms of milestones I stop, I breathe, because I see/realize milestone is about enlightenment, and this process is about self-realization HERE in and as each breath.
When and as I see myself putting a pat on my back for reaching a certain day #, I stop, I breathe, because I realize this is simply an ongoing journey, till ‘heaven is on earth’, till all suffering ceases.
When and as I see myself reaching for goals, to get somewhere, I stop, I breathe, because I see/realize my real goal is HERE in the breath, and if I miss this breath, well that’s the journey to get HERE.
I also realize my commitment to this journey needs a reassessment meaning, to relook at how/why I am missing so many days in this journey so far, therefore I commit myself to give that time to myself daily, so that I can write down something for every day, not allowing even a day to MISS, because once I miss a day, that accumulates and a sense of guilt builds up, so that’s not cool. Therefore I commit myself to give myself that time every day, to write daily in this Journey to Life and live breath by breath, not seeking/looking for any milestone or enlightenment, I am here, I breathing.
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