Tag Archives: daily writing

Day 413 – See/Think-through-Writing. Thinking-through-mind is very unpredictable.

self-forgivenessI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust my mind, not seen/realizing this mind of mine is like an entity by itself, it has its own desires/wishes/agendas, and therefore I see/realize I must be the master of the mind, not its slave. Listening, surrendering to my mind will make me its slave.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize I am the point of authority, not my mind, I give my power to my mind by letting it rule me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a slave to my mind, in listening to it, in believing in it, not seen/realizing I can tackle the mind by writing, by looking on paper the issues instead of ‘thinking’ through them. Think through the paper, not through the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust my mind as an ally whose constant commentary is keeping me occupied, busy, and entertained, not seen/realizing this friend of mine, my eternal companion is not my true friend, it is simply my noise maker, entertainer, whose sole goal is self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize my mind offers the great chance each moment, because in each moment something is boiling in my mind, therefore each moment is a chance to STOP the mind, hence a chance to birth myself, instead of birthing my mind again and again. No mind = life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine and fear the worse case scenarios, not seen/realizing, the mind loves the worst case scenarios, therefore I see/realize the way forward is to write things down and look at them through writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize the way forward is not through the mind-thinking but through thinking-via-writing, so the physical act of writing assist in actually to see more, not just get lost in the mind sphere.

So the plan is to write things down, jot down things, write, scribble, note down, take notes, write whatever comes up in the mind, see the shit on paper sort to speak, write all angles, all fears, all desires related to a point, meaning see the WHOLE PICTURE, do the research on paper, because everything is here. It’s a matter of looking through writing.

Think through writing to overcome the mind, because this mind is not a friend, not an enemy either but certainly not a friend.

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Day 300: Milestones are about Enlightenment. This is a Journey to Life, Breath-by-Breath.

EnlightenmentHard to believe I have reached to day 300. That’s the good news, but the bad news is I missed about 40 days in that, I should been around 300+ today, so that reminds me to reassess my commitment to daily writing because I have missed a whole lot of days.

There is no big deal in reaching day 300, I mean, I am still a mind, a mind consciousness system, a lot of systems are running within me, so no cheer or applause for this milestone. I mean there are no milestones in this journey, milestones would imply enlightenment. This is a JOURNEY, a JOURNEY to LIFE, investigating, self-forgiving what I have accepted and allowed within myself and within this world as myself. So to declare any form of celebration upon reaching this day 300 is rather arrogant and stupid. There is a lot of self-work to do and a WHOLE lot of world-work to do. Just look around what’s going in this physical reality, how much abuse, how much man-made suffering is inflicted up us all.

So will there ever be a celebration, yeh for sure, when ‘heaven is on earth’ when no human is homeless, or starving or fearing, or worried, or in agony etc, etc. I mean at the moment this world is a hell, the systems are causing hell to us all, well we created them as such. So we must correct them and put in place a new system that is best for all.

In that I have a great self-responsibility, and that is to establish self-equality within me, to bring the heaven/mind to earth/body. So no applause for reaching day 300, very childish indeed to think in those terms given the gravity of the situation both for self and world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize bringing the mind(heaven) to body(earth) is my first responsibility. And god/Jesus is not going to do it for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my process in terms of milestones, I mean this is not a pet project, or a work project to set milestones, this is a JOURNEY to LIFE, where I will see/realize and let go off what I have accepted and allowed within me. I see/realize enlightenment however is a milestone, an achievement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that JOURNEY to LIFE is a self-realization walk, where I bring down the heaven/mind to earth/body, instead of living in the mind, I become aware of breath/body here, in each breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize milestones would imply I am walking to achieve, to obtain, to get something, instead of just living HERE in this breath, in fact my journey is to HERE. To this breath.   

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a sense of energy excitement to this day 300, thinking and believing that I have achieved something, not seen/realizing this is simply a journey, writing daily and yes allowing a process of accumulation to occur, but that’s not an achievement but a self-realization.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel good’ that I reached day 300, not seen/realizing that ‘feeling good’ is the work of the mind-conscious system, feeding the mind rather.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the Journey to Life in terms of milestones, instead of just seen it as a breath by breath, day by day walk, writing, breathing, self-forgiving and then birthing self as life, HERE. I can only get HERE, going anywhere else is enlightenment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize there are no targets, no goals, no objectives, no milestones, simply breathing and becoming/getting HERE, in and as breath and birthing self as life through the physical.

So I let the so-called excitement for reaching day 300 go, I mean, what is there to be excited about, this is a breath by breath journey.

When and as I see my process in terms of milestones I stop, I breathe, because I see/realize milestone is about enlightenment, and this process is about self-realization HERE in and as each breath.

When and as I see myself putting a pat on my back for reaching a certain day #, I stop, I breathe, because I realize this is simply an ongoing journey, till ‘heaven is on earth’, till all suffering ceases.

When and as I see myself reaching for goals, to get somewhere, I stop, I breathe, because I see/realize my real goal is HERE in the breath, and if I miss this breath, well that’s the journey to get HERE.

I also realize my commitment to this journey needs a reassessment meaning, to relook at how/why I am missing so many days in this journey so far, therefore I commit myself to give that time to myself daily, so that I can write down something for every day, not allowing even a day to MISS, because once I miss a day, that accumulates and a sense of guilt builds up, so that’s not cool. Therefore I commit myself to give myself that time every day, to write daily in this Journey to Life and live breath by breath, not seeking/looking for any milestone or enlightenment, I am here, I breathing.

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Day 206 – ‘Journey to Life’ daily writing is not school homework, its about re-birthing Life.

I commit myself to see/realize that I must self-write everyday, not allowing myself to wonder around and get lost in my commitment. 

I commit myself to stop and breathe when and as I see myself looking for that valid excuse to avoid writing just for a day. 

I commit myself to stop waiting for the last minute, last hour to start writing, I realize that is a postponement tactic which often results in delaying or not writing at all.

I commit myself to sit down everyday and write myself to freedom, by participating in this journey to life blogging process. 

I write this tonight while the burden of postponement is heavily on my mind, wanting/desiring to give up for just tonight, with ample excuses on hand. So here I am directing to write something/anything.

I commit myself to breathe when and as I see myself going into the mind for juicy excuses to avoid the daily writing; I stop and I breathe. within this I forgive myself for not realizing this journey to life process is not a school assignment that I must do in hush hush, rather this is a life process, here I am rescripting my life to what is best for all. within this I forgive me for taking the approach of school home work and writing just to get the writing done, instead of realizing I am not just writing here, I am actually articulating myself to script a way of living that is best for all. I mean this is clearly not just writing a school assignment, this is about my life, how to change my life, how to birth my self again. 

I commit myself to really reflect, realize as I write, not just write any mumbo jumbo, this is about my life, I am scripting a new script for my life, so that what is best for all will be born. 

I recommit myself to journey to life writing process with much intensity meaning this time around I will be writing for me, writing about my life, my new path to live. Not just writing to appease a school master with daily home work. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see this journey to life writing as a home work, not realizing this writing is about my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just sneak in a last minute blog daily as if I am back in school, not realizing this blogging is about my life, so I direct myself to take the time daily, reflect, realize and write myself to freedom, instead of just doing this as a school home work.

I commit myself to take a moment to breathe, relax, and reflect before I embark on writing, and even as I write, I commit myself to breathe and ground myself so the writing will be an actual reflection/realization process, not a school home work.

I breathe, I let go, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be hard on myself with self judgement, so no self judgement here, only a realization that I will have to shift mode of writing from school home work to life work, meaning here I am writing about my life. 

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Day 131 – If Body takes a day Off, I will be dead. No days Off in Commitments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into procrastination and laziness in my day-to-day writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let yesterday be a no-writing day because I allowed myself to ‘relax’ meaning procrastinating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that even taking 1 day ‘off’, can compound into a mountain resulting in ending of the daily writing process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, even missing 1 day due to laziness or procrastination is unacceptable because it has a compounding factor which can lead to the end of daily writing process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, me sitting down to write is my time for self-intimacy where I see/look within then write something down. I see that writing is not about just writing words/sentences, rather it is self-investigation and self-realization, day-to-day writing compounds just like procrastination/laziness compounds.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in fact not realize, this process requires total and 100% commitment, there are no days ‘off’ in this process, this is not some gym activity where some days I can be ‘off’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, this process is about my life, about every breath I breathe, hence what I accept and allow matters absolutely.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that my ‘breath’ doesn’t take a day off, and if it does, I will be a dead man.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, this earth doesn’t take a day off, the sun doesn’t take a day off, my body’s many automated functions don’t take a day off, and if they do, I will not be existing here, within this I forgive me for justifying that it is OK to take a day off from my journey to life process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, day-to-day writing commitment doesn’t mean writing pages and pages, it means sitting down to write some, its self-time for self-intimacy through writing. Allowing me to put the accumulation of my mind stuff on paper.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify that taking day off here and there as fine, in fact it is NOT fine, as this is a commitment to self-change, through breath-by-breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the key is to sit down, and start writing something, by investigating my day, my participation within the mind, and then self-investigate them through writing. within this I forgive me for not realizing, that giving into ‘days off’ is not acceptable, as it is clearly a mask for laziness and procrastination.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that self-writing time is self-intimacy/self-investigation time, within this I forgive me for slacking off, by giving into laziness and procrastination, even one ‘day off’ due to laziness is not acceptable. So I remain here, I breathe here.

When and as I see I am giving into laziness and procrastination within my daily writing activities, I stop, I breathe, I direct myself to sit down and write something/anything, through investigating my day, my mind, and see what is that I have been participating. In this I see/realize/understand, that self-writing is a daily activity, therefore, ‘days off’ are not acceptable, unless of course, there is a real practical difficulty at present, but laziness/procrastination is not acceptable. Even if it is few lines, I direct myself to write something, without limiting myself to any ‘amount of writing’, simply just write.

Because self-writing is about self-intimacy.

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Taking Things Personally

 

Day 1. Writing to birth myself as Life through the physical.

I heard bernand’s video today about nothingness, in which he request people to write daily. Day 1, Day 2, etc etc, each day taking on some point and doing self forgiveness on it. Of course, writing self-corrective/committing statements to actually physically stand as change. This must be done daily, everyday for 7 years. Wow, can you imagine daily writing for 7 years. well step by step, drop by drop changing the patterns of self, physically.

Let me take a simple point I saw today, which will assist me to look at. Taking things personally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take things personally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take anything another says as a direct insult to me, and in that I have allowed myself to take things personally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take any question, or any comment, or any gesture by another “personally” and in that I have allowed myself to get hurt.

This is a very simple problem, I mean, why do I think others are trying to hurt me, or insult me? I realize how I see the moment, is how I realize the moment. If anyone ask me a question, it just a question, a comment, or a gesture, it is what it is. But if I look at it as an insult or hurt point, then, yes, I have “taken things personally”.

So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take things personally. instead of breathing and not taking inside me, anything what others say or do, I have allowed them to get in and be hurtful. I mean, only if I allow anything to get in, can it hurt me.

So when and as I see myself “taking things personally”, I stop it, I breathe I support myself with breathing. I realize how I experience myself within me is my direct responsibility. I can suffer inside me or, I can just breathe and remain here as physical. its upto me.

This moment is here as life. Only this moment, I need to take care. Taking things personally means I continue with time and allow suffering to happen. So I stop, I breathe, I engage myself in the physical Here-ness, doing something physical.

To take things personally, I need a story in the head, I need the backchat,  the chatting back of the mind, to continue. So I support me with breathing here.

Till here no further, I will no longer allow and accept myself to take things personally. Instead I breathe, I let go, I remain here.

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