Day 187 – Stop thinking and breathe to end Conflicts, no Middle paths

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am allowing conflicts by very the act of thinking. As I think, based on ideas, beliefs, opinions, and judgements, I will be creating and facing conflicts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the moment I have a thought about another, as this or that, I allowing the creation of conflicts within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, there is no half-way solution to this problem of thinking, either I stop it totally and entirely or suffer, face thought-created conflicts. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that its ok to have the luxury of thinking nasty shit about people as and when it pleases me to give me that energy thrill. in this I see/realize, all I am doing is walking a midway, thinking thoughts when needed and not other times, clearly this is not working out for me. As I am still facing conflicts within my day to day life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, this process requires 100% application, meaning its all or nothing. within this I forgive me for not realizing, thinking as and when it pleases me, and believing that I am actually making progress is self-misleading, I am only cheating myself. Because clearly conflicts within my world is not decreasing but increasing, showing/mirroring to me that my middle-path rule is only fuel for the mind, creating more and more conflicts in my life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, even harbouring one thought about a being, is more than enough for conflict to take roots, within this I forgive me for not realizing, that one thought is the seed of conflict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the very reason for my thinking is to seek solace/comfort/energy/thrills within a mind reality. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, no matter how much I am thinking, nothing is going to manifest within the physical world, to make things happening in the physical reality, I must move myself within the physical reality, whereas thinking/dreaming will never ever get anything done in the physical reality, in this I see/realize/understand my occupation with thinking is only aiding conflict creation in my life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, one thought is always followed by another, then another, soon there will be a sea of thoughts, producing energy/feeling/emotions within me, all resulting in the deterioration of my physical body. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that I cannot walk my process as a middle path solution, whereas thinking sometimes and not others, in this I see/realize that half-bake solutions are only cheating myself. therefore I understand the need for absolute dedication to walk this process fully, always, all ways, not just as a mid-way compromising walk. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the moment I blame, scold, argue, judge, or goto self-pity, I am only giving up my self-responsibility to walk this process 100% and compromising myself to walk this as a middle path. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, every thought, even a single thought is a judgement, a blame, a scold, a nasty silent remark, a pit of self pity, a hint of fear or jealousy, or even the so-called positive thinking thoughts are just the other side of the same coin, its hell or heaven within the thoughts, all consuming the physical substance to feed the mind.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, how much I allow the abuse of my body just by participating in the mind, because I see/realize/understand that the mind exist by annihilating the body, it must, it has to, to survive. Mind survives on the body/physical substance. And this I am allowing and accepting without any resolve, or dedication to stop it because I am walking this process as a middle-path, half-committed. so I realize/see/understand, even a thought is enough, and so it must be stopped. 

When and as I see myself thinking even one thought on the lines of fear, anger, hate, jealousy, bitterness, blame, scold, judgement, what-ifs, anxiety, worry, paranoia, positive love and light thinking, I stop, I breathe. Because I see/realize, giving into a single thought along those lines will soon compound giving the mind the mining rights to mine the earth, the body. 

I commit myself to realize, that until my backchat and thinking stops totally, and entirely, I am only deluding myself in believing that I am making any progress in my process. 

I commit myself to realize, that I cannot walk this process as the so-called middle-way, or middle path, otherwise I realize I will be wasting my time and my life, just pretending to walk the journey to life, while in reality it is not the journey to life I am walking, so here I commit myself actually walk the journey to life, by checking each thought that pops up. And in this I support myself with breathing, breath by breath. 

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