Monthly Archives: July 2012

India without electricity/power: ‘Equal Money System’ is the answer.

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When 600 million people are without power, imagine its manifested consequences? surgeries, childbirth, hospital situation, emergency transport, air and land transport, heating and cooling, irrigation, water supply, the entire fabric of society will breakdown/slowdown when there is NO POWER for days on.

Whom to blame? Current management, corruption, negligence, irresponsibility, lack of monitoring, political dishonesty, basic carelessness, as all are motivated by MONEY and PROFIT.

Equal Money System is a new global economic proposal to solve all our problems including indefinite power cuts in any country. Currently, EMS is under research and development in deteni labs, it’s not yet implementation ready, but certainly every responsible world citizen must study it, understand it, and participate in its current research and development stage immediately.

Within the next decade, this proposal will be presented through democracy.

See: Equal Money System 

Day 104 – Death by Sweet Smile: Energy experiences deplete Physical Substance to slow death.

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘like and love’ when pretty girls smile with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am having an energetic experience within me as they smile with me. It is my energy movement within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like when people smile with me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, it is not the smile I like, but the energy experience I am having within me that I am enjoying. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, any energy experience within me is consuming my physical substance. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize my energy experiences within me are causing my physical to slowly but surely to deplete, I am allowing substance to be consumed for energy experiences. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, smiles similar to anger are  causing energy experiences within me: energy polarity experiences, happy with smiles and upset with anger. in this I forgive myself for not realizing, both are my reactions and energy experiences within me which I accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am not addicted to love, or smiles, but for the energy it triggers within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am addicted to highs and lows within me, energy highs and lows, causing physical depletion within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am participating in energy games while I seek smiles from others. Because the smile gives me an energy high. Oh that smile makes me feel so good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, all energy experiences within me are depleting substance within the physical body. Its torture for the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize,  smiles, anger, thinking, worry, anxiety, jealousy, love, fear, hate, all are energy games within me, causing bodily harms. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, breathing cuts the energy game.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, breathing returns the substance to physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, any form of energy experience, good/bad, are equally harmful for the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, ending/stopping the energy games within me is a great self-responsibility, which will aid in birthing self as life through the physical and thereby birthing heaven on earth.

Hence, I commit myself to be aware of my energy experiences within, so when and as I see myself having an energy experience within me, I STOP, I breathe. I see/realize/understand, everyone loves a sweet smile, but the consequential energy experience within is depleting the body/physical. As all energy experiences will consume the physical/substance to manifest itself as energy. I mean where does that sweet/anger energy comes from? from the transformation of physical substance into and as energy, its a slow but sure death.

When and as I see myself having any form of energy experience within me due to sweet smiles, I stop, I breathe, realizing that I am ending this energy addictive game within me forever more. I am returning substance to physical, not letting it be consumed/transformed into energy. I direct myself to breathe, be here, and give and receive a smile without any energy highs or lows, just smile as physical.

For more context on how energy, substance and physical depletion works, please read the heaven’s journey to life blog.

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Day 103 – Fear of making Mistakes is a Self-Limiting character.

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[Context: how on earth will I progress/proceed, if I live in the fear of making mistakes? in any context, be at work, home, love, investment, purchase, in anything, cannot let fear of making mistakes to dictate me]

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear trying new things because I fear making mistakes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making mistakes and then seen as stupid by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear trying new ideas, new concepts, new techniques, because in the fear of making mistakes, and in this I forgive me for been seen as dump and stupid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear experimenting new things within the fear of making mistakes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I were to make mistakes then I may lose all respect and appreciation, and I fear been blamed and scolded. in this I forgive myself for not realizing my starting point to do anything is appreciation, recognition and been liked by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself limit myself, not realizing it is my responsibility to learn, and put in the effort to acquire the required information so that I can try, experiment new things. I see/realize and understand, self-application is required consistently to develop the know-how so that I can proceed in accumulating the know-how, in that making fewer mistakes. I see/realize/understand, in the process of learning any new skill or in trying a new technique, mistakes are bound to happen. in this I forgive me for been petrified by the fear of making mistakes, as if my whole world will collapse. I see/realize/understand, it is really my fear of how I will be seen/perceived by others if I were to make mistakes, is the root issue.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making mistakes because I fear the perception others have of me, so in making mistakes I fear been seen as stupid and dumb.

i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be seen as smart and cool, in this I forgive me for desiring the approval and validation by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to LIVE my life because I want to be validated and approved by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, my whole existence is about been liked/validated/approved by others. in this I forgive me for not doing anything just for myself, as an expression of myself without ever needing/desiring approval/validation from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that I fear making mistakes only in the presence of others, in their absence, the concept of mistakes doesn’t even exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear humans and their god damn opinions about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I want humans to like me, approve me and validate me, as if the others are the GODs of my existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the opinions others have of me, and always want to make sure they have the best opinion about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear been disliked by others, therefore constantly doing things to please them and be approved by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, my lack of self-presence within my body as awareness of my breath, is the root problem, because of that my mind is wandering about what others think of me. Who give a FUCK about what others think of me.  Within common sense, I direct myself to breathe here, and apply myself to try new things, experiment new things to expand and grow in my process of learning and living my life. I stop limiting myself because of the fear of making mistakes, basically the fearing how others will perceive me when I do make mistakes.

When and as I see myself fearing and limiting myself through the fear of making mistakes, I STOP, I breathe. I see/realize/understand, I am just letting old patterns of what “others think of me” to direct me. I STOP. I direct me to try, experiment new things, in this I realize/see, mistakes will happen, but I will not let that limit me or stop me, I will direct myself to try and experiment new things within the bounds of common sense.

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Day 102 – Living in memories makes me a dead man walking.

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let memory dictate who I am in this moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let memory drive me in this moment, meaning allowing memory to show me the way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize memory is a frozen picture of a past present moment, which I use as a reference to dictate me here now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use memory from yesteryear to decide who I will be in this present moment here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize memory has power because I have allowed it and gave it the power by recalling it into this present moment, thereby making decisions based on memory references.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I am recreating the past simply by listening to my memories and living the present according to that memory as a safety thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of all my memories because I fear if my memories were to disappear who will I be, what will be my reference point? in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my identity and that sense of who I am if I were let go of my memories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to construct the sense of who I am based on my memories, not realizing memories don’t define who I am, as I decide who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize memories come to life only when I give them attention, only when I ‘think thru, live thru’ them again and again, in this I forgive myself for reactivating my memories over and over again, instead of just breathing it out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, memories are snap shots with little or no value, unless I give them value by placing them in front of me as a graven image.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I am the creator of my memories which I kept hidden away in my flesh for later use.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize my present and future are similar to my past because I use past memories to make decisions about the present and future. in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I am never ever living, only re-living the past through memories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not realize when I am dead, I will remain a memory in the minds of my family and friends, and when they all are dead, I will not even exist as a memory in the minds of others, I will simply not exist any more, therefore my “life/living’ here was nothing but an illusionary show awaiting disappearance. I see/realize/understand I wish not exist just as a memory now or later, I wish to exist as physical, doing physical, and even after I die, I like to leave physical remembrance of me, as physical things, not as just a memory in the minds of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize today I am nothing but a flesh full of memories, and therefore living as a graven image, and not as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I am here as life, but sadly I don’t live as life, rather I live as a graven image like an image from the grave.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I am living as a graven image, in the likeness of grave-n image. which makes me a dead man walking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I am holding unto every tiny little bits and pieces of every memory so dearly because I believe they have value which is more than what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by memories, so dearly believing if I let them go, I will have no story about myself, I have nothing precious to hang onto, therefore who will I be?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who am I based on past pictures and photos held within my flesh, which are called memories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live through graven images of myself thereby be a dead man walking, instead of being a living man walking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize every single thought takes me down the memory lane, activating some sort of memory which are based on self-interest, so that I can continue to walk on the road of self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize living in the past makes me a dead man walking, not life at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto pretty pictures of the past, and thereby keep on thinking/looking at those pretty memories to give a sweet feeling of the past, not realizing that makes a graven image, makes me a dead man walking with pretty past pictures.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize since the beginning of time, man has been living in the past memories till he dies. this has been going on for generation after generation. hence I direct myself to live here as life, without needing any pictures of the past.

I see/realize/understand, I have to walk through all the memories and self-forgive each one of them, release them. I see/realize/understand, in breathing here, I can remain as life, breath by breath, I can direct myself to be here, as LIFE not as a graven image.

When and as I activate a memory from the past, I STOP, I BREATHE, I realize, me stepping into a past memory is like recalling an old movie while seated at the cinema here. I see/realize/understand, time has come to stop the time, as past, present and future. I am simply here as breathing, of course, when and as I need a piece of memory for practical purposes, I recall it for a moment, then, I let go. I am always here, breathing. I wasted my whole life so far in building a memory database, and constantly living in it, now I see/realize, I had wasted many decades, and the remaining years I don’t wish to waste in thinking of the past, I am here now, so I direct myself to breathe and be here.

I mean why are those memories so special? any memory? why am I holding onto them? a person, an event, a situation, a job, an act of sex, falling in love, fearful event, violent event, a death, a birth, a marriage, a divorce, an accident, a betrayal, a cheating, a robbery, an insult, a fight, a disappointment, an occasion, a visit, a trip, a vacation, a quickie sex session in the car, whatever it may be, it is in the past now, its only a memory, yet I allow myself to grab them, hold onto them, possess them, as if without them, I will be nobody. That is simply the database of my memories, which are dictating my living here and forcing me to live in the past, so my present and future are nothing but the repeat of the past. I am the creator of the past, present and future. so I direct myself to breathe, breathe and breathe, with a ‘hold/pause’ within, so that I can cut the movie by the memories. of course when I die, all my memories will die with me, so what is the big deal about my memories now.

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Day 101 – To change, I need discipline and hard work. Can’t hope God to change me magically.

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, within the day, I have many things to get done, hence wasting time is not acceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I have many blogs to read and one to write, in addition to all the other physical/living activities,  all of which requires time, therefore, wasting time is not acceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, starting my day late in the morning is an issue I have not faced or corrected properly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I must actively participate in the living of my life, not just wandering around and waste away my time. in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I am wasting away my life too, by wasting away even a minute.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, my process to birth myself as life will take time, effort and consistent application of myself. therefore I see/realize/understand, that I must read, write, self-forgive, self-correct, and walk the correction into the physical,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I can change within a breath, within a moment, therefore I see/realize and understand that every breath is the key. I see however this process is time bound, but actual changes can manifest within one breath as a result of accumulation of self-application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, that I must be highly time efficient as if time efficiency alone will birth me as life through the physical, so I forgive myself for believing that putting the time will change, not so, not that easy, though time is required but changes come within one breath as a result of consistent accumulation. So I see/realize/understand, every breath is the key, not hours, minutes or days I put into the process, it is in this breath, what I accept and allow will set the course for my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize every breath is a chance to cut the mind, and be here as a physical being, no mind, thoughts, no movements, no feelings, no emotions, just me here, breathing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not realize that the desteni-i-process requires effort, application and time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that self-change requires time, effort, dedication, and regular commitment, in this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone till the last minute to finish the assignment work for desteni-i-process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize every breath, every bite, every step, every word of typing, every word speaking, everything I do is process work, meaning, everything I do is a chance to self-change myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize while I structure my day to get various things done, my real change happens breath by breath, its in every breath, in every step, I have the chance to change myself from mind to life.

Who am I in every breath is the question.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, my life is my process, therefore who am I is the question to ask every breath, am I characters pretending to be life? am I in fear pretending to be life? am I standing for what is best for all? am I considering all and everything as one and equal as life as me? am I communicating directly? am I existing in the past? am I living in the past by bringing the characters of the past into this present moment? am I compromising myself to satisfy some desire?

I see/realize/understand, I must direct myself in every breath, to this process, to check the mind/ego, to stand for what is best for all, to effectively use the space/time to get things done, to finish assignments, house work, physical activities, walking, job, so that I can effectively use available space/time to my process to birth myself as life through the physical.

I commit myself not to postpone and build up anxiety. because I realize to get this done, I must apply myself, it is an accumulation of self application,

I commit myself to breathe with a hold/pause in place, so to cut the movie within my mind.

I commit myself to realize that I must read many JTL blogs daily, as I see/realize/understand, self-application/effort in this is required, as self-change wont’ just come by the magic of God. I must work at it.

When and as I see myself procrastinating, or postponing, I STOP, I get my ass out of the gut, I breathe, and I direct myself to do what is best for all.

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Day 100 – End of Mankind

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, existence of mankind on earth could actually end.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, this earth is a fragile delicate system, not a pit for profit making.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, this earth is the source of all life here on earth, hence it must be protected and cared for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, there are immense abuses going on raping this earth just for making profit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, mankind on earth will likely come to an end due to man’s own greed and no other reason.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, this complete carelessness and disregard for mother earth will eventually manifest its consequences where life for man on earth may not be possible ever again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the current economic money system is the heart of disaster on earth, which is raping and robbing this earth of everything and anything just to make money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, there is a point of no return for life on earth for mankind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, though life on earth will continue but life for man on earth is doubtful, unless man make dramatic changes to himself and how he manages this earth and its inhabitants.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, this earth is not one big shopping mall, where all we do is buy and sell, until earth runs out of her supply to sustain man’s unceasing greed for his happiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, this earth is not a garbage dump for capitalistic money masters.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the environmental destruction and chaos that are going on in the name of making money, can lead man to his own end, on a road that is paved with meaningless money, and banknotes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, earth is at a precarious point for mankind, he may not make it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, earth’s resources are freely given so that all bodies of flesh will have a seat at the round-table with food and water, the table we call earth, our home.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, violence, wars, military experiments that are going on, will eventually lead to a point of no return for man.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the glamorous 2012 Summer Olympic games opening ceremony with money, is not a sign of joy, but a sign of utter ignorance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, pollution, deforestation, and other numerous abuses that going on, are on my face, yet I chose to sit in front of TV to entertain myself so that I can hide and not see the end of mankind approaching.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that no God, or Devil is going to end mankind, but man himself will end it for him, as man is the biggest demon roaming the earth now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, capitalism is the singular force that will eventually lead this earth to a point of no return for man.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, doomsday predictions like 2012 newage prophecies were a hoax just to keep man busy and entertained, so that the real issues, and the real end, will never be resolved or discussed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the spiritual and religious industries are equal and one responsible for this earth’s mess, just as the capitalistic money masters whose sole purpose is to make profit at any cost.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, everyone on earth is responsible for protecting and caring this earth. It is our home.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the earth is a roundtable where everyone, every flesh of body, has a seat, an equal seat at the roundtable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, at the current rate of abuse and raping of earth, it will only be a matter of time before the end is here for mankind, slowly but surely its coming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not realize, the earth is a delicate eco-system where man is the only custodian to maintain her balance and well-being. Instead man has become the demon who is sucking the life out of himself and of this earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, life on earth will survive in abundance without man walking on it, as he is the only monster ever to rape this earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, enough blood and tears has soaked this earth that are witnesses for centuries of abuses man has inflicted upon himself for the sake of money and power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the singular current that propels this earth is the currency, the moneys of this earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the industrial pollution and waste in manufacturing in order sell products for nearly 7 billions consumers is mounting with no checks and bounds.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, man’s inner demons and unceasing greed while in pursuit of his happiness is propelling the capitalistic machine, which is destroying this earth without any regard whatsoever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the boardrooms where the demons roam, the destructive headquarters of this earth, where plans for profits are made at any cost without any regard for life whatsoever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, everyone is equally responsible for the hell on earth, that is slowly approaching its deadline for mankind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, there is a such thing called “its too late for mankind”, however uncool it is, it must be acknowledged, the end for mankind is a real possibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, religions are the demonic angels who silently advocate the selling and rapping of this earth for money and profit through their dogmatic insane ideologies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, at the moment, the earth is a gigantic shopping mall, it’s here to buy and sell, 24×7, its entire purpose is to buy and sell while the earth cries in misery.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the end of mankind is not some crazy religious or spiritual prophecy, rather it is a simple mathematical extrapolation based on the current earth policies and management.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, more than half the earth embraced the lunatic 2012 doomsday prophecies, while make a joke out of it when mentioned that time for mankind is running out.

The question is why do we have to abuse and destroy this earth as we do now (even if it doesn’t bring an end to mankind)? Is it because we have no other system but capitalism?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, all abuses on earth must stop, there is absolutely no justification for any abuses that are going on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that we need a system that is the custodian of earth, which takes care of the earth and all its inhabitants.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the principles of Equal Money System are just that, they are the custodian pillars of this earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that I am the first point of change to stop the impending doom for man on earth. I must change, we must change, then we change this world-system so we protect and care for this earth, restoring to its former glory, the life giving mother earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, every living breath, I must dedicate myself to self-change, share this message with all, so that many who will hear this, will dare to walk with us for change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, my life on earth is not a trip to the shopping mall, to shop for some 70+ years and then die away. NO, I see/realize/understand, I am here on earth, to birth myself as life through the physical and to bring life into this earth as a custodian and caretaker of this earth, by standing with and implementing the Equal Money System for all to live equally sharing this beautiful mother earth.

I see/realize/understand, it is not too late for man, though such point is not too far, therefore man must change, I must change, to birth self as life, so that all of us, including me, can take care of this earth. In this, I see/realize/understand, that blaming anyone is useless, rather, I take self-responsibility for my self-change, and show the way for others.

I see/realize/understand, at the moment, I am walking a process of education with other destonians, till we reach a point where we will enter the political arena to make things happen through democracy.

On this Day 100:

I commit myself to stand as a point of change, by changing myself breath by breath.

I commit myself to share and educate others about Equal Money System.

I commit myself to share and educate others about what is really going on in this world.

I commit myself to walk this journey to life process with 100% commitment, so that I may be an example of change through writing self-forgiveness, and self-corrective applications.

Join us: www.desteni.org  and www.EqualMoney.org

Day 99 – I want MORE, and MORE. The character of separation.

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[Context: Read this about MORE]

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the cause of separation is desiring wanting needing MORE than what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I as substance originally separated myself because of wanting MORE of me, MORE than what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize even today I am separating into  parts and pieces because my desire for MORE, want MORE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I am separating me into MORE characters of me, in this experience the pain of separation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a want MORE character, always plotting thinking desiring for that MORE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I am mixing practical  needs with mental wants and desires for MORE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize within a single thought I am creating a want MORE character which separates me from my physical substance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire MORE, want MORE, think of MORE, dream of MORE, talk about MORE, and in this not realizing I am separating me further and further from myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have separated myself into zillions of want MORE characters, and in that experience total separation from everyone and everything here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to activate this want for MORE character in every aspect of my life, want more sex, want more money, want more women, want more recognition, want bigger families, want more respect, want more knowledge and information, want more free time, want more freedom, want more happiness, want more success, and want to more of everything. In this I forgive myself for not realizing, it is not about having more from a practical sense, but rather getting mentally sucked into the energy crave of wanting, and desiring MORE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize my want for MORE is not limited to just material things, but also includes subtle things like want others to smile with me, want to be liked, want MORE love from others etc, not realizing in that I am simply giving up on myself, not been here as breathing, as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize want for MORE on anything will separate me from me as physical as substance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I am here as breath, breathing, within my physical body, with whatever the practical needs to sustain myself as physical. I see/realize/understand I am a physical being within physical needs, not a mental being with zillions of unceasing mental wants for MORE.

When and as I see myself giving away myself even in one thought for MORE, I stop, I breathe, I see/realize/understand I am activating the original separation within myself with each such thoughts. Therefore I direct myself to stop, and breathe, and realize I am here as breath of life.

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Day 98 – Breathe-in, Hold, Breathe-out. New Life habit.

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not slow down as breath, as breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe, and therefore rush within my mind as shooting stars.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get caught in the running dialogue within my mind, instead breathing and been here as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get caught in the automatic thinking process, instead of breathing here, and slowing myself down as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush and run and be all unsettled, not realizing all it takes is one breath, to be here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that all it takes is one breath, to slow myself down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will slowdown in future when I am free and less things to do, implying that now I am too busy to slow down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear slowing down, believing then I will have to deal with issues.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear slowing down, and believe that I must not slowdown, as it is for losers to slowdown, while I must run and rush to achieve things, to make myself a winner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear slowing down because I believe that slowing down is for losers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear slowing down to the breath, really slow, because I believe then I am missing out on ‘life’, not realizing in rushing I am really missing out on ‘life’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear placing a “hold”, a “pause” between in-breath and out-breath, because I believe it will interrupt my life’s flow, not realizing placing a “hold/pause” will interrupt the movie within the mind, and will ALLOW life flow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear ‘pausing’ the mind even for a moment between in-breath and out-breath, because I believe that I have more important things to do like automatic thinking, daydreaming, wishful thinking, internal backchats, etc

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear ‘pausing’ because I believe it will interrupt the movie in my mind which is apparently so important than anything else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear breaking the habit of continuous automatic thinking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear breaking away from energy, therefore I forgive me for accepting and allowing non-stop automatic thinking as normal habit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I need a new habit, a life habit, to break the non-stop automatic thinking process, to stop the non-stop energy consumption. Just like burning a light bulb, thinking burns the physical substance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I must direct myself to make a commitment to place the “hold/pause” between in-breath and out-breath. This is something I can clearly do, so I direct myself to breathe-in, hold, then breathe-out.

I commit myself to place a “hold”, a “pause” between in-breath and out-breath.

I commit myself to place a “hold” following every in-breath.

I commit myself to realize the importance of this “hold”, as it cuts the unceasing mental movie.

I commit myself to place a 4-count “hold/pause” following in-breath.

I commit myself ‘no matter what’s going on in my life’ to get into the habit breathing with a “hold/pause” in place.

I commit myself return again and again to place “hold/pause” between in-breath and out-breath.

I commit myself to return again and again even if I miss occasionally to place a “hold/pause” between in-breath and out-breath.

I see/realize/understand the time has arrived, for me to make this a commitment, a life habit, to breathe-in, hold, breathe-out.

When and as I see going into guilty, shame, or regret whenever I miss a breath, I simply return to breathing with the ‘hold/pause’. No regrets, no shame, no petty, simply return, restarting with this breath here.

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Day 97 – Showing Anger in how I Listen in conversations is spiteful.

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to show anger by not listening while another being speaks to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid participation in conversation to show my hidden anger towards that person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to show a form of ‘silent treatment’ by not actively listening or talking within a conversation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to show my displeasure/anger and frustration towards another being by not listening while the other speaks to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to show bit of rudeness by not listening within a conversation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I fear facing another as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I fear facing another as myself because I carry loads to judgments about the other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “hurt’ another by not listening to him/her speak within a conversation, as I deliberately ignore the being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, my anger, frustration towards the other is actually what I experience within myself, whereas the other being is simply an external mirror that’s on my face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be rude and mean by avoiding conversation while another being is speaking to me directly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful towards the other by not listening, by not participating in the conversation actively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize deliberately not listening is spiteful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the moments of conversations are a great chance to practice 4 count breathing, to make sure my mind will not move with thoughts/emotions/judgments and feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful by not participating in conversation, instead avoid it by been silent and not actively listening to what another is saying, just to show my anger/frustration and displeasure. I see/realize/understand, this is spiteful and not the way to resolve any conflicts, instead I see/realize/understand direct conversation and listening will bring much clarity into the matter than avoidance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize listening actively and attentively is a gift, allowing the other being to express him/herself without imposing any judgments on them, or on what is been said.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize even a moment of conversation is to be honored and consider another as myself and speak/listen in support of another, instead of turning the moment of conversation into spite.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that every chance I engage in conversation is a chance for me to be an example as life, instead of projecting my mind bullshit into the chat, I direct myself to speak common sense and actively listen to what is been said, so I can direct to the person to discuss some common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize this moment here, this breathe here, is real, is life, therefore I see/realize/understand squandering this moment in vain talk and/or not listening out of spite, or thinking while listening is not supportive for me or for the other person. Hence I direct myself to honor this moment here as life, as a chance to discuss common sense and thereby assist/show another about what’s really going on, instead of wasting moments in mundane, vain conversations.

I see/realize/understand that every moment I share with others in conversation, or just been by myself is a chance to birth what is best for all. I realize every moment is a chance to stop my mind. I realize wasting my conversations in joking around, or in showing spite, or showing anger is a total waste, instead I direct myself to breathe, be here, stop the mind, and participate, listen, speak common sense while having discussions with others. I realize I must be a living example.

When and as I see myself showing anger in how I listen to others, either by been silent or by ignoring the other, I STOP, I breathe, I bring back myself here, and I direct myself to fully participate in the conversation and listen actively to what is been said. I also direct myself to stop the thinking and breathe, so I can listen, and speak effectively.

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Day 96 – What is Love?

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel lonely within myself.

I forgive myself that I  have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am missing another therefore I am feeling so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself believe that my life is lonely and empty without happiness coming from another being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there must be one special connection which will make me all happy and joyful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be on the look for that one special connection with another being so that I can be all happy finally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for that one special connection with another being so that I can be happy at last.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I have been looking for that special someone, that special connection to make me happy all my life, thinking and believing that another person can make me happy and joyful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will be bored, lonely, unhappy and sad without that one special connection with another being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for love all my life as if Love is some kind of a mirage which I only search but never finding it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for love every time I blink my eyes, as if I open my eyes only to look for love.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to since childhood, search and look for that special someone, that special connection with someone so that I can be in love and feel happy and excited all the time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to since childhood look for love, excitement and purpose of life through LOVE and romance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to since childhood believe that there is someone special for me, and that someone special will make me happy and excited, and that someone special will give me the reasons and purpose for my very existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to since childhood believe that I will be unhappy, miserable, sad, depressed, lonely, isolated and unmotivated if I don’t get that special love with that special person in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to since childhood believe that my life will be utterly useless and empty without that one special connection and love with a special person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe since childhood that nothing in this world could make me happy or satisfied, but only that special person, with whom I have a special connection and love can satisfy me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to since childhood believe that my life will be utterly useless and empty without that special someone in my life, with whom I have a special connection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe since childhood that my destiny will bring my special someone to my life with whom I can form a special connection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe since childhood that God has created a special someone just for me to share a special connection and love with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe since childhood that God has created a special someone for me to make my life so happy and joyful, and this God has assured.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe since childhood that there is a special soul just for me, with whom I will enjoy eternal special bond, connection and love.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe since childhood that it is written in the stars about my special person, with whom I will form a unique and amazing connection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe since childhood that even before we were born, my special connection to that special person was already written in the stars just waiting to happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe since childhood that there is a beating-heart waiting just for me, awaiting to form a special connection with me to enjoy special love and intimacy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that marriages are made in heaven and in this I forgive myself to believe that it is by divine will one enters marriage.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe since childhood, that God will handpick my special person, to form that special connection, with whom I can eternally enjoy a blissful, lovely, romantic, love connection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe since childhood, that God has written the story of my romance and love, with my special person in my life, with whom I will form a special connection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe since childhood, that God will script the romance and marriage and will hand pick my special someone for me to form a special connection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe since childhood, that the whole purpose of my life is to form a special connection with another and live that special life together, having a wonderful special family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe since childhood, without a family one is totally useless and wasted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that for my life to be worth living, I must have that special connection and special family with that special person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly accept all that childhood programming about love, family, and romance at face value without ever asking the question: who will I be without any connection, or any love or any family? in this I forgive me for accepting the ideas, notions and beliefs about love, connection, and family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I don’t need any special connection, or special love, or a special person, or a special family for me to exist here as breath of life as a physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I don’t need romantic movies, songs, and pictures to tell me about ideal special future, because I see/realize/understand, I am here as breath of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel deep emptiness, sadness, and loneliness when that special someone is not re-enforcing the idea that I have a special someone, a special connection in my life, therefore I can reassure myself that my life is in indeed worthy and worth living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the idea of just me breathing here as breath of life, without needing, wanting, desiring, seeking any special connections, or special love, or any special family to be part of. I see/realize/understand, I am here breathing, as breath of life here as physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the needs of my mind and therefore not realize mind is constantly gambling, rolling the dice for next special connection for more energy, for MORE, and MORE. I see/realize/understand, I am here as a physical being, as physical, connected to ALL.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, desiring/wanting/needing connections is mind’s trick for survival and energy. I see/realize/understand, my mind survives and thrives on energy through special connections to special people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that I don’t need special connections, or special persons, or special love, or special families, or special someone to exist, as I am here as a physical being. I breathe as life, in this as a physical being, I am indeed connected to ALL.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, sadness, loneliness, depression are all signs of energy movements which I have accepted and allowed in believing that another being can give me something special for me, so that I will be always happy and joyful without ever taking self-responsibility to be HERE as life, as breath.

I see/realize/understand, this game of love, game of energy, cannot lead to true love, it is simply a feeding trick for the mind to survive, while the so-called real love is simply been here as breath of life, as physical, embracing ALL that is here, moreover, I see/realize/understand, what is this love I seek/search/crave while 21,000 humans including children die daily in hunger and hunger related disease?

I see any love must include ALL, otherwise this monstrosity of capitalism will continue while I fall and swim in the pit of romance and love. So I stop my mind, energy, and energy based love and romance, instead stand here as a physical being, forming a physical practical agreement with another, and directing myself to birth a world that is best for all, which is what love is.

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