Day 33 – Mourning or Morning? Chatter in the mind decides.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to my backchat and participate in my backchat this mourning as I woke up and start the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/talk/chat and participate within my backchat, who is not interested in making peace in my life, rather only want to create conflicts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build up for war by listening and participating in my backchat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in “what if” scenarios and give my backchat juice to work with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give life to my backchat , well I am it. I driving it, I am participating in it, I am creating it, I am the force behind my backchat, which will NOT stop until I Stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give power and life to my backchat by thinking/feeling/what-if/emotions entities. Not realizing backchat as such has no power of its own, only what I give to it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like a victim who is been targeted by the whole world, by everyone I know.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire energy from others, in the form love/attention/care etc, not realizing I am here, breathing, me as physical is here. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire appreciation/love/kindness/care/concern from others so that I can feel good about me. In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give me attention/care/love/affection/kindness etc, instead wanting others to give me what I have not given to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire/want/crave for relationship-connections with others, so that I may feel good and happy about me. Instead of been here as breath, as physical, I am craving for relationship-connections.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am the ONE I am the key. If I am not here as breath as physical as life, then, no relationship-connection can give me ‘happiness’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self-responsibility by NOT been here as breath, by participating in my backchat I have given up my self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the first act to change myself, my world, is to be HERE as breath, in been here as breath, I tackle the first problem, which is my nasty backchat. As long as my backchat is fueling me, there is no chance of peace of earth, only pieces within and without. 

I commit myself to peace of earth, for peace within myself, by the very first act of stopping my backchat.

So when and as I see myself chatting/backchat within my  mind, I STOP, I Breathe. I realize the good old backchat is up, so I direct myself to either write, or do something physical to the stop the backchat. This one life to live.

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