Daily Archives: May 8, 2012

Day 24 – Office Bullying or Me Avoiding Responsibility?

Day 24, Journey to Life continues. Reactions Reactions, when directions are given to me, I take it as bossing me, and then I go into kind of angry reactions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dislike when I am “told what to do”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like when I am ‘left alone’ and not bothered. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take things personally and go into anger when I am told ‘what to do’ or given directions on how finish a job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take things personally when I am given directions on how to achieve something because I believe it to be ‘bossing’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am been bossed by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am been bullied by others when they give me directions/instructions on what to do next. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am been bullied. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am been micro-managed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others are micro managing me and bullying me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and perceive that others are on the hunt just to micro-manage me and bully me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others have nothing better to do in their lives, so they are so occupied with bullying me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear been micro-managed, or bullied at work. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a polarity of ‘like and dislike’ towards management styles at work. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like one style of management and dislike another style of management because of my fears and comforts that I have defined myself as. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear been told to do things, because then I have to take the responsibility and accountability to finish the requested job at hand. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear when asked for project status and because I see that as interrogation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear been interrogated. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear when I am asked questions in details, because I see that as interrogation and I see interrogation as fearful and bad. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear and dislike been interrogated and therefore see interrogation as BAD and nasty. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking about my project status, because I believe I will be interrogated upon it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear when given assignments because I see that as ‘making me work’ instead of seen that I am given a job with money so I can live a comfortable life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel been ‘used’ when others assign me work tasks, thinking, they are taking advantage of me, they are using me, they are throwing all the shitty work at me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking on work responsibility and fear when work items are given to me, because it is responsibility. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear when work task are assigned to me, believing that I am been used, instead of seen I am been employed hence my job is secure for a while, but I foolishly see myself as been used. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear been used by others, not realizing nobody is USING me. I am here as life. I am here to give as life gives, and doing my work, finishing my work items is pretty cool, and getting more work items is pretty cool. 

When and as I see myself fearing when given work items, I stop I breathe. I realize I am at work to work.

When and as I see myself fearing when I am given directions, or suggestions on how to finish a job, I stop I breathe. I realize another as myself is supporting me, so instead I see the supporting hand rather than look at it as been bullied or bossed.

When and as I feel fear of been bullied or bossed at work, I stop I breathe. I realize there are no bullies unless I see it that way within my backchat. Because another as myself is directing me, and showing me the way because I have not taken the responsibility for myself to direct myself to do the job. I will direct myself at work more, instead of waiting for another to direct me.

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