Daily Archives: May 6, 2012

Day 23 – Who Am I? Mind’s energy driven machine.

That is a simple question but requires profound self-honesty. No point in just saying I am this or that. Yet I must realize this ‘who am I’ thing must be lived, not just an expression, it must be lived, each breath. This ‘who am I’ must be a decision, not just a wondering about ‘flow with the wind’ kind of bullshit, who am I must be an active decision made and lived breath by breath.

Today my desteni-I-process buddy asked me the question “who am I”. I clearly was not prepared to answer her, so within the blog entries next few days I will investigate this profound but simple question.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NEVER ask me the question ‘who am I’? Who Am I ?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never reflect upon Who Am I ?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have no idea who am I. I am just floating around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am just floating around without any sense of ‘who am I’ giving me any direction. I am just floating around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be driven by mind’s energy, mind alone is directing me. whereas I am at sleep.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed entirely by mind’s energy, and not by ME.

At the moment, who am I is just a machine that is running on MIND’s energy. Mind say Go, I GO. Mind say STOP, I STOP. No clear self principle thru which i can move and direct myself in what is best for all. I just move with the flow of my minds’ energy, seeking, looking for more experiences to make me MORE.

To be continued…..

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Day 22 – In Teasing and Joking, I Lost Breath-awareness.

Day 22. I was having a fun day, enjoying myself with others, and generally a good day, but somewhere in that, I was losing awareness of myself as physical and got lost in the fun a bit too much. I ended up like a kite without a string, just wondering, talking, teasing, joking, making a clown out of myself, entirely in the mind. Lost in the mind. Then, an incident happened, which markedly reminded me that I have been lost within my mind, having bit of too much fun,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up the awareness of my breath and physical because i was having too much fun by joking and teasing others, and in that i allowed myself to forget about the breath and the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that joking and teasing can cause me to lose awareness of breath and in that I can get lost in the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that losing awareness of breath is never never acceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that joking and teasing can lead to lost of self-awareness and therefore I can easily get lost in the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to joke and tease and in that i allowed me to get lost in the mind.

i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that each being is ME. so joking and teasing can become a problem if I get carried away with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to joke and tease to get attention to be the center of the stage.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to joke and tease to be liked by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to joke and tease to be loved by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize joking and teasing is the not the problem, the problem is self-honesty, the problem is not been here as breath, the problem is getting lost in the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize self-honesty is not a part time job, it must applied lived every breath, every moment, hence breath awareness is the key.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that teasing can be harmful if done to hurt or insult another. teasing is always about making fun at the cost of another. in all self honesty, I see teasing is not what is best for all.

When and as I see myself joking and teasing, I STOP, I breathe, I remain here as breath. I realize that teasing at the cost another being is NOT COOL. When and as I see myself joking, I stop, I breath, to see within myself if the joke is about making fun about another being or me simply having fun at a situation.

I commit myself to remain as breath here this moment, realizing what is done is done.

I commit myself to remain as physical awareness here this moment, realizing what is done is done.

I commit myself to suspend teasing for good. Specially teasing a kid can be harmful to the child.

I commit myself to stay within my breath, be breath aware each moment, realizing that losing one moment in the mind can be risky and hellish.

I commit myself to stay within my breath each moment.

I breathe, I remain here as breath.

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