Daily Archives: May 3, 2012

Day 20 – Suspicion is Poison to Relationships.

Day 20. You can almost hear the sound of Poison in Suspicion. I allowed bits of suspicious thoughts about my wife today within my mind. Even one session of thinking of suspicious thoughts is harmful enough, poisonous enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think suspicious thoughts about my partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to indulge in suspicious thoughts and thinking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about her whereabouts in a nasty suspicious way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine nasty scenarios within my mind about her whereabouts when I dont’ hear from her. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think nasty suspicious shit about her whereabouts and imagine nasty shit about her. This is pure suspicion. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain suspicious thoughts and doubtful thoughts about my partner, just because I have the power to imagine whatever I want within my mind. I am the God within my mind, as I could imagine and think anything. I can abuse anyone within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act God within my mind by thinking suspicious thoughts. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am accumulating something very bad by participating in suspicious thoughts about my partner. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my partner by thinking suspicious shit about her. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize yes, ‘suspicion is like taking poison’ it is very harmful. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can think and imagine anything I want, no matter how harmful or poisionous those thoughts are. I am the God of my mind, so i think anything i want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain suspicion within my mind and accumulate nasty shit within me, which will lead to energetic outburst. suspicion is like a drop by drop poison. It accumulates.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not realize my whole secret mind sphere is poisonous as its entire stock is full of nasty shit about others. 

When and as I see myself stepping into the land to suspicion, I STOP and I breathe. In realizing that entertaining suspicious thoughts is a dangerous game, as it could soon lead to a nasty outburst. Therefore, when and as I see myself stepping into the suspicious land, I STOP, I breathe. I remain here. I realize that I am the living example to show the way for others. I show the way by breathing, been here, and standing here as my physical, not as my mind.

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Day 19 – Fear of Disapproval

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear been disapproved by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear been disapproved and punished by others.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear making mistakes because then others may disapprove me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear been scolded by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear been rejected by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to please others so that they might approve me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others to like me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire others like me and approve me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire approval and validation from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek and look out for approval from others. and when lacking in approval i allowed myself to go into self pity.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be depressed when others disapprove me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear been depressed.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear what i feel within me and want to run away from it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear when others show their anger to me and react in kind to their anger.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own anger.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself desire and want to be happy thru the approval of others and when that is lacking i allow anger within me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be angry for not been happy within myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want others to approve me and validate me so that i can be happy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create the idea of happiness and want others to approve me and validate me so that i can be happy, otherwise i will be angry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry within myself and fear my own anger

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire others do the approval things so that i can contain my anger and unhappiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for myself to be here as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not look at me, instead I want others to look at me and care for me with their approval.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am not taking self responsibility and want others to do it for me.

when and as I see that i am fearing disapproval from others, i STOP and I breathe. when and as I see fearing anger of others, i STOP, I breathe. I realize i am responsible for who i am, neither approval from others nor anger from others can direct me. I direct me and I support me with breathing.

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