Day 18: Journey to life continues. I have this friend with whom I have developed a gossip style of communication over the year, meaning, whenever we speak, its generally about nothing, and mostly about Gossip. I suppose it is a way to end boredom with Gossiping.
But now the time has come to end gossiping, no more talking BS, chit chatting for the sake of gossiping. Talk, yes, enjoy communication, but just gossiping, just holding the phone in the hand for the sake of time pass is bullshit. In that, nothing really been communicated, just bullshit gossip.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep on talking just for the sake of talking, just for the sake of passing time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just keep on talking/chatting just to pass time and in that end up wasting my time. Not realizing time is very precious, which I am wasting in gossiping,
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gossip for the sake of keeping the friendship going, believing that gossiping will assist to form a friendship. Not realizing, nobody likes a gossiper even the partner in gossip wont’ trust me or like me because they know I am a gossiper.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in gossip just to pass time because i accept that as entertainment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i need to entertain myself by gossiping or just talking blah blah blah blah.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can just keep on talking rubbish and just keep on blabbering just to keep the friendship of entertainment going.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that gossip is normal part of life so its perfectly fine to gossip. Not realizing, all I am doing is wasting my breath in gossiping, while I could be doing something useful, instead of just yapping away talking nonsense just for the sake of pass time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize ‘it is fine to communicate, to discuss, to talk to other humans’ as talking and communication is part of our lives, but turning communication/talking into endless pointless meaningless noise making gossip just to pass time and kill boredom is utterly insane.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize my time on earth is limited, therefore wasting even one breath in utter nonsense things like gossiping is a total waste of my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste my life away in gossiping and just doing mind entertainments.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste my life on the phone just holding the phone to pass time by just gossiping and talking nonsense. whereas I could be using that time to assist and support another as myself to rebirth themselves as life, instead I spend time in gossiping.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize even one breath wasted in gossip is a big waste, as my life/time is too precious on earth, as death could arrive anytime.
So When and as I see myself gossiping, holding the phone just to pass time, or just talking rubbish subjects one after another, I simply STOP, I realize it is a past habitual mind pattern, hence I direct myself to breathe, and I stop participating in gossip.
I simply communicating with the other person for few minutes, then I will direct myself to end the call, not wasting anytime going to gossip or just passing time on the phone.
I realize I will not die when I hang up the phone within the 3-4 minutes of talking to somebody to the point, I dont’ have to be on the phone till the battery dies, I dont need to come up with subject after subject to talk about just to keep the call going, just to keep the conversation going. I realize if the chat is not life/process supporting then what am I really talking? Am I just gossiping? If so, I simply stop and breathe.
I commit myself to end all gossips from my life. I dont’ listen to gossip. I don’t speak gossip. Instead I direct the partner in gossip to stop it as well, by me stopping it.
I commit myself to direct my conversation to be life supporting, to be process supporting. I realize all of us are in process, so might as well support and assist all whenever a moment of conversation presents itself. But to turn that into a gossip session is unacceptable.
I commit myself to investigate my communications that I do for time passing, and stop them when it is not process/life supporting.
I commit myself to end gossip from my life forevermore.
Gossip ends today.
Join us: www.desteni.org