well, so much going on. a mind construct i am working on has been on hold for a while now. so tonight instead of blogging i am going to do that MC. there is perhaps deep seated believe that i cannot really change, so these mind constructs really not going to change me, they may outline as who/what i live myself as, but can they change me? no. so i carry that belief system within me. here i am standing on my own bullshit justifications, i can see i am a changed person compare to my pre-desteni days. so yes change has happened, indeed, so how did that self change i see in me happened? well application of self forgiveness and self honesty and participation in desteni process has been effective, then how could i so adamantly say that mind-construct cannot change me ? i don’t know if they can change me or not, but clear fact is i have not done a proper mind construct on my own, always avoiding them. whereas i have done self forgiveness on my own.

so until i do apply a desteni tool as it should be, i cannot really say if it is assisting me or not. here i am blindly avoiding mind constructs. it has been awaiting for me for a long time now.

i can see i have a deep seated believe that i cannot be change, or near impossible to self change me at the very core of me. perhaps that is why i am avoiding MC, or resonant course works.

well just have to do it. i realise that i am fucked very much, but that is no excuse, i also realise that by applying the tools consistently and pushing myself along with the tools, i can self help me. the key is self application. giving into the idea that i cannot be change, is worse form of self pity, its like saying i should be dead, why am i living etc.

i stop here. i walk this process, with tools in hand, i apply me, i push myself to apply the tools. Be it Mind constructs, or resonant course works, or self writing, or self-vlogging, or self forgiveness, i just do them, consistently.

do it regularly, consistently, then self will see the self change,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am unchangeable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that i am a hopeless case.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that doing a mind-construct is useless because its not going to change me anyways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid doing Mind Constructs because i inherently believe that i cannot be changed, i am this, and this is it. how could anyone change me?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lack self trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i lack self trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up on myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like failing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like been an ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like the way i am so why bother to change me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my bullshit existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my laziness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept that i don’t’ need change, and that i cannot be change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe i am beyond fixing. i cannot be fixed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe i am so bad that i cannot be fixed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have zero self trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have no self trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push people away who want to assist me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid those who want to assist me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like people who promote my mind constructs. so i can feel at home with them. no need to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  carry a deep seated self belief that i cannot be changed. no matter how amazing desteni tools are, they just cannot change me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that how could i ever be like those destonians at the farm, could i change myself to be like them?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others so that its justifying not applying desteni tools.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just like the way i am, so no need to change. b’c i don’t’ like change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear undoing my bullshit mind-patterns. i would rather be that.

i stop the mind patterns.
i stop fearing change.
i embrace change.
i embrace self change.
i stop the self pity.
I am breath of life.
i stop being the ego
i stop the mind patterns.
i am here as the breath.
i don’t’ need mind patterns to tell me how to live my life.
i am breath.
i am here as physical.
i am one and equal to all here.
i don’t need my mind to tell me how to live.
i am changing.
i am self change.
i change myself.
i will myself to change myself.
i stop fearing to change me so it is best for all.
i am here as breath of life.
i am change.
i change.
i stop fearing mind constructs.

i am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry this deep seated belief that i cannot be changed. this is the biggest self fuck up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that i don’t want to change. i have not allowed myself to change. i holding back change. i am avoiding change. i am not pushing myself to change. its all still a drama, not real change is there, because i have not allowed me to change, yet. i am still falling back to the old style of ways.

i went a soccer tournament today, i found myself sitting between two soccer moms, one supporting the blue team and the other is green. obviously their sons were having fun in the field running after the ball and trying to score etc, but for the parents its a different story. they were so engaged in the game rather emotionally raising their voices in support for their kids and expressing frustration and bits of anger as the game went on.

first of all, yes its cool for the kids to have some fun in indoor soccer field in the middle of thick winter. they seem to have a great ball not much worried or getting all emotional but in the game sort to speak. for moms and dads they got ‘carried away’. i was rather a silent dad sitting but not cheering like they do. i figure its something to with ‘own child’ thing perhaps, an egoic extension through children.

competitive sporting brings defense of ego in full action.

then i saw how i too participate in national sports following and get all crazy about it. same bullshit, sports adoration. soccer moms/dads just do for their kids. while i do it for the national team. its all forms of ego boosting thru one team or another.

within equality equation, physical sports activity for children need not take competitive form, rather as self expression children having fun with a soccer ball. no need to win or loss, no need for parents to feel so proud or shame about their kids. no need to praise how mighty athletic their boys are, or need to compare and feel good about self. all this is ego madness.

funny thing to observe is how parents shouting son’s names as if their son is the only kid playing out there. And the verbal proclamations they do in the form of coaching/encouragement towards their kids is just amazing. “yes you can do it, get the ball, block it, take a shot, yes you do it, common now”.  it sounds a bit like a religious session. and when a scoring happens, omg, parents just go crazy in their jubilant expressions.

i guess, it is what it is. while sitting listening to these backbench parents-turned-coach  i was thinking to myself, “what if is this child of yours is starving to death”, kind of bitter question to ask, but the point is, “god you are so concern about your son scoring a goal, why not see the plight of million others who are suffering while you are having a soccer party?, yeah nasty on my part to think such. perhaps i was jealous since i don’t have a son of mine playing out there, through whom i can feel so proud about myself. well may be so.

yet i cannot dismiss the fact, children having fun is a right for every child, not just for the rich, every child deserve to throw a soccer ball around and have some fun, it must be a right to not just a privilege.

i am one vote for equality in children’s sports, so every kid can enjoy his/her childhood, play, run as he/she wishes. No child is ever denied the right to have fun in the fields, we will make sure a system of support will facilitate equality for all kids.

i mean, here only the rich get to have fun. yeah they all cheered the green team who won the game, but its really a shame, we all lose as long as someone is losing out there in this world.

one starving kid is one too many, and there is really nothing to cheer about, is there ? and don’t fucking call me a joy killer.

i went a soccer tournament today, i found myself sitting between two soccer moms, one supporting the blue team and the other is green. obviously their sons were having fun in the field running after the ball and trying to score etc, but for the parents its a different story. they were so engaged in the game rather emotionally raising their voices in support for their kids and expressing frustration and bits of anger as the game went on.

first of all, yes its cool for the kids to have some fun in indoor soccer field in the middle of thick winter. they seem to have a great ball not much worried or getting all emotional but in the game sort to speak. for moms and dads they got ‘carried away’. i was rather a silent dad sitting but not cheering like they do. i figure its something to with ‘own child’ thing perhaps, an egoic extension through children.

competitive sporting brings defense of ego in full action.

then i saw how i too participate in national sports following and get all crazy about it. same bullshit, sports adoration. soccer moms/dads just do for their kids. while i do it for the national team. its all forms of ego boosting thru one team or another.

within equality equation, physical sports activity for children need not take competitive form, rather as self expression children having fun with a soccer ball. no need to win or loss, no need for parents to feel so proud or shame about their kids. no need to praise how mighty athletic their boys are, or need to compare and feel good about self. all this is ego madness.

funny thing to observe is how parents shouting son’s names as if their son is the only kid playing out there. And the verbal proclamations they do in the form of coaching/encouragement towards their kids is just amazing. “yes you can do it, get the ball, block it, take a shot, yes you do it, common now”.  it sounds a bit like a religious session. and when a scoring happens, omg, parents just go crazy in their jubilant expressions.

i guess, it is what it is. while sitting listening to these backbench parents-turned-coach  i was thinking to myself, “what if is this child of yours is starving to death”, kind of bitter question to ask, but the point is, “god you are so concern about your son scoring a goal, why not see the plight of million others who are suffering while you are having a soccer party?, yeah nasty on my part to think such. perhaps i was jealous since i don’t have a son of mine playing out there, through whom i can feel so proud about myself. well may be so.

yet i cannot dismiss the fact, children having fun is a right for every child, not just for the rich, every child deserve to throw a soccer ball around and have some fun, it must be a right to not just a privilege.

i am one vote for equality in children’s sports, so every kid can enjoy his/her childhood, play, run as he/she wishes. No child is ever denied the right to have fun in the fields, we will make sure a system of support will facilitate equality for all kids.

i mean, here only the rich get to have fun. yeah they all cheered the green team who won the game, but its really a shame, we all lose as long as someone is losing out there in this world.

one starving kid is one too many, and there is really nothing to cheer about, is there ? and don’t fucking call me a joy killer.

i am here.

as usual backchatting today, looking to find faults, complaining, though the good news while i was complaining i was able checked it, stop it, it must be stopped at the very start, not near the end of the monologue. all comes to awareness of self every breath, every moment, not just special moments, not just special times, no all the time, every breath, i must observe my breath, and observe my tendencies to go onto verbal bad mouthing, or backchatting for that matter. i mean thinking is speaking silently, isn’t it, just b’c nobody hears it doesn’t mean, it is not expressed. all thoughts are expressed out into the existence, yes, every one knows what i think. and how i do i know this? i read in desteni site, all and everything exist in me as me, so all my thoughts about others are known to me, therefore known to others. there is no hiding place for thoughts, only just stopping them stops, nothing else will.

so coming back to breath, living by breath, each moment, i am able to cut the back chatting, cut the crap of bad mouthing, gossiping, and whole bunch other vices simply by observing my thoughts and breath. of course, self forgiveness and self honesty is always there as self help tools.

as for me, all through my day, i have to vigilant about my breath, thoughts, and words. easy hide, easy goto war, easy to complaint, easy to blame, easy to kill, easy to destroy, easy to kick, easy to make hell for self and others. the hardest yet the simplest is to be here as breath, every moment just be here.

I am here.

Who am I?

A good question to ask indeed. Let me see how to self define myself as is right now.

I am a blamer, I love to blame, and have been a blamer for a long time now. As if from the time I wake up in the morning, my radar is on to find faults . of course with family members I have done this extensively. I realize that I am responsible for everyone and everything, meaning, even to what other people do/say, I am responsible for . In principle I understand that, blame cannot exist, I cannot blame anyone for anything, as it/he/she exist within me as me, so I am responsible for even what others do.

Individually I have to stop that within me, and perhaps be an example for others to follow. Nobody likes to listens to a preacher, they will follow examples, living examples. Blamers are hated. I have seen that mostly in my dad, how he blames, even when he has a valid point, I find it near impossible to ‘listen’ to him, simply because he is operating in that mode of blaming.

Instead of simply looking at a point here, in common sense, he goes on and on about it, blaming. It’s a difficult presence to be in, while that blaming is going on. I am a duplicate copy of my dad, I blame just like him, only the subject matters differ. I used to hate his presence, now I breathe and breathe not allowing my judgments of him to get carried away.  He can test me every moment, even how he drinks his tea used to bother me, the sipping sound he makes, that annoying sound he makes while chewing, as if he is deliberately trying to annoy me. Now I realize, I have conditioned myself to react in annoyance to my dad. It is my own conditioned behavior, nothing else.
I am a robot. I have conditioned myself to behave in certain ways in certain situations. Some are known most are unknown, surprises waiting to happen. Yet it’s all within me, exist as conditioned pre programmes, how I react, how I speak, how I look, how I stare, how I blame, how I eat, how I wear cloths, how I smile, how I laugh, how I feel, how I think, how I value things, how I like/dislike things, are all preprogrammed. By who? Well, I programmed myself into this robot that I am here now.

Is there a way out of this robot existence? Yes, live as breath here every breath here, missing a single breath means I allow myself to be a robot, living as every breath means, now I have a chance to be a non-robot.
It is such freedom to not to carry all that past, worry, concerns, anxiety, memories, what-ifs, doubts, fears, blames, feelings, emotions, addictions, highs and lows, depressions, etc etc etc.

It’s nice to be here for a change. So no matter how I try to answer the question, ‘who am I’, I come to the same conclusion, and I am a fucking robot, enslaved to my own mind. Not a pretty picture isn’t it. 

“What is 70 years or 7 years with regards to 350 billion years we have been ‘lost and enslaved’ within this existence?” – Portal writings by www.desteni.co.za

i am here, breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into my thoughts and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust in my feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow my feelings not realizing these feelings are results of my thoughts past and present, that I infact created these thoughts and feelings for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for what I feel within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for what I experience within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel so heavy within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to avoid the feeling of heaviness within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want run away from what I feel within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to escape from what I feel within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to escape from what I experience within me right now. Not realizing I have made this for myself. I have created this for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have the simple power and responsibility to stop my thoughts emotions and feelings simply by stopping the thoughts. Instead just being here as breath I allow myself to ‘think’ allow me to follow the thoughts within me into a river of thoughts. In that I get drained in emotions and feelings. I forgive me, I give me to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what I feel.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to ran away into happiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want escape from what I am feeling now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want avoid my emotions and feelings. Not realizing I cannot avoid them, because it is me right now, I have made this for myself. Here or there, here on earth or in the afterlife, I cannot avoid myself, I have to face myself all of me. So for now, myself includes my thoughts and emotions. I am here as breath of life.

Here or there, in the physical or in death, I must face myself, there is no escape from me. I cannot avoid me, I cannot avoid myself as my thoughts and emotions. They will follow me. Until I stop them.

There is so much shit going on in this world, so much suffering going on in this world, self inflicted and environmentally inflicted, yet I ignore them and only focus on my little thoughts and feelings. I am always trapped in my own mind creations. I have allowed me to think and feel and exist within my thoughts and emotions. I am here. I have a responsibility to stop this mind bullshit within me. I do so by simply being here as the breath. I stop my thoughts and emotions by simply being here as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being the breath of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stopping the thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to stop thinking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to give up the thoughts. Because they give me so much comfort and security.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to stop following my thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to just be here as the physical as the breath of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad and depress within me. Not realizing in one breath I can stop it. I am here in one breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into my thoughts and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be less than my thoughts and emotions. I am here equal and one to all of me, everything of me. I am equal and one to all and everything of me. I cannot run from me, I cannot avoid me.
No running from myself. I am here as self responsibility. I am here as self breath. I breathe here. I remain here as breath. Instead of looking for the next rush to get a high, either thru sex or this or that, I remain here as breath. I remain here as my physical.

I realize the sufferings of this world, I mean from so much starvation, murder, rape, torture, poverty, hunger, slavery, sickness, disease, loneliness, isolation, homelessness, gosh, a long long list indeed. Yet all I do is worry about my next high, my next round of sex, or next round of emotional high, how to be happy is my quest. I stop this madness, after all, with death all that is not real will end. Wtf.
I am here. I know all that I am chasing now will end, as none is real. So realizing the world’s mess, I know I understand I have a responsibility to stand up, to speak up against the bullshit that is going on. Speaking up in a constructive way, not just protesting and screaming, rather, speak with and the equal life party and one and equal to it. But I just focus on my thoughts, emotions and feelings, always looking for the next happiness. That is just total selfishness. Yes I have first responsibility for self-care. I have to take care of me, but that doesn’t mean total ignorance of world suffering.
I am here. I stop the depression within me, I stop the sadness within me. I stop the emotional loathing within me, I stop the self pity within me, I stop the nag within me, I stop the anger within me, I stop the doubt within me, I stop the craving within me, I stop the lust within me, I stop the envy within me,  but how exactly will I do all those ? Just simply being here as breath. I am the breath of life. Here as the physical, it is the mind that is fucking everything.
I forgive me. I forgive myself.

I am here.

Few days I missed daily writings, and I already can feel how it affects, meaning, continue writing is so much assisting, and that is noticeable with the few days of slacking. Writing is a form of a self letting out; bring all the shit out here for self to see and others as self to see.  There is indeed a release in such writings. In fact writing helps even in effective speaking. I notice how I speak is more effective with ongoing writing. Of course, have to be watchful this is not a mind writing its shitty music, like an old country song.

Few things to write about. Yesterday I had to goto the emergency room for minor wound I encountered on my clean shaven head. clearly I was thinking way too much and walking towards this door, fuck, I didn’t really notice how I positioned myself, next thing I know, I bang my head so hard, it was bleeding and what not. So the security persons at work suggested that I goto the hospital ASAP. So I went to the emergency room.

I didn’t have that magic health coverage card, which is supplied by the government, though I am eligible but due to me not taking care of things properly, I didn’t bother to apply and have the card handy. So upon my arrival, I learn the bad news about not having that magic health insurance card.

Just to enter my name into their ‘system’ it would cost 600$ on the spot, no questions asked. Of course the final bill is subject to all other services that will be rendered to me. Thank god, the doctor upon hearing my sad story went to the cheapest fix, which is a bandage on the head with some pre cleaning by the nurse. Estimated cost, 800$.

There you go, 800$ for a bandage on the head. Of course they have their reasons to bill such. Had I taken my magic card it would have been all free, so I can’t really blame them either.

Still, something is certainly wrong with the healthcare system, I mean not everyone has gotten a healthcare insurance card. Not everyone here is eligible; you got to be either a citizen or a permanent residence and must have a valid card in hand. I am citizen without a valid card in hand; hence, I must pay out of pocket. They gave me 5 days to deal with the government to deal with the situation; possibly I may get a refund. Still, fuck this system.i told the doctor about equal life party and equal health care system, he was bit amused by it, saying ‘got idea, but I don’t think it will work’. That’s another story.

So clearly I am one vote for an equal health care system. Current health care is a total fucking business making profit, and that is all they care about. It’s insane to make profit out of human body. Health care system is bit like prostitution right now, making money out of the physical body. Money is the root cause here. Show me the money, I give you the medicine, is the current law, isn’t that prostitution or what.

 I will be a damn fucking fool not to question the current health care system and accept it as is. But being human robot I am, I might it give into the system. That is why no change has come so far. So I am very glad the equal health care system is gaining momentum, I stand with it unconditionally.

You must be insane to find fault in equal health care system that will care for every human.  Please.

I am here. Feb 14th 2011.

Happy fucking valentine’s day to you all. Love love love. I would rather say sex sex and sex. I have had my doze of love and sex over the years, but almost always it ended up with anger, meanness and spite, both for myself and for the other. no matter how colorful the so-called love is, as long as there is self-anger, self-judgement, self-spite, shit will get thrown at the other, so wars will break out. then, even a small hill will appear like a mountain, anger and meanness will fly without limits.

I have been in those types of love things, where the anger and rage i felt my lover at that time was so immense, my wife is no exception, she gets my doze of nastiness now and then. in the bus today on my way home, i hear a couple very subtly throwing abusive words at each other, she appears to be very upset, then i thought ‘oh god’ i have to deal with this at home and now in the bus too!

But the real truth is, isn’t never the other person, as long as ‘thought’ exist, as along as ‘mind’ exist, love cannot exist, period. Because you will fucking come up with some kind of a thought against your lover every now and then, which will compound and compound, leading to manifest consequences. absence of thought perhaps is love, presence of breath is perhaps love, self forgiveness is love, self honesty is love, yes one could within limits say such. Meaning, those are the ingredients to find love within self and therefore to share such love with others.

more or less, i have failed in my love life, because eventually i end up with right kind of blame and thoughts against my love/wife etc. and my goodness how i justify my angry mindset is just amazing. i can convince myself so well, i feel i should been a fucking criminal lawyer or something. now i realize, needing for love is self abuse, looking for love is self abuse. the moment you feel you need love, you’re abusing yourself. the moment you need an external source you are self abusing.

Now that does not mean living in isolation. yes, find an agreement partner, discuss, communicate, be on the same page, self forgive, walk this process together, its a cool thing. so your very agreement will not the key point of focus on your life then, you will be focused on things that matter, like fucking cleaning up this world for example.

we are here to that, we are here to bring about equality for all, that is our purpose, certainly that is my purpose. it would be rather pointless to fuck thru all years till your dick cannot erect up anymore, then, you take that super expensive vigra, to boost up the nearly dead sex life which is almost over, all you can do is keep looking at young pussies/dicks to get a mental high, and imaging sex fantasies in your head, isn’t that a pretty fucked life to live.

by all means, get an agreement partner, enjoy the great sex, become intimate with each other, so that your sum is greater than both of you. as they say, whole is greater than sum of its part.  this is preciously where i am suffering, most of my focus is on my marriage, and its bullshit problems, arguments, anger, pain etc, very little attention and time i put into the purpose i came to this world for. my life would just be a total waste, if i spend most of my time worrying about relationship bullshit and do minimum about world equality. i mean that is indeed a wasted life. what i mean to say is, an agreement is vital, within which self process is primary focus for both, and the couple’s contribution is more than just the double horse power, an effective agreement to bring about world equality for all. yes in all that time, enjoy each other physically sexually, romantically, intimately, caring and supporting each other.

nobody said this process has to be walked alone in isolation. every day can be a happy valentine’s day, and happy world equality day, because without the later, nothing really matters.

without equality everything else is just bullshit which will end in time for sure.

so for all of you in agreements i say, enjoy, double up your horse power to bring about a new world for all of us. and those who are with a non-destonians, well, no excuses, you still got to walk this self process and be a living example in your reality. that is preciously what i have to do, walk this process in every breath, and be an example for my wife, perhaps perhaps someday, she will ask about self forgiveness, self honesty, agreement and what this process are all about.

i am the key to my reality, i am the key to my world. and if there is any wanting and needing of any love, then fuck it, your love is already over. the need will kill it. the wanting will destroy it. And if you think you love another, then, you’re a self-abuser. wired isn’t it. then what the fuck is love? really, self here as breath, without any movement of thoughts, emotions and feelings, and applying the equation of what is best for all, can be said as love. perhaps. then again, the moment you define love as a concept, its gone, no more. live here, as breath as every breath here, then you will never need to define what love is.

I have a long way to go, but breath by breath, i am here as equal and one to all.

Of course, i love you darling, WTF.

I am here, Feb 12, 2011, my blogging continues.

Growing up in sri lanka, one of the worse memories is visiting public toilets when nature’s call is unbearable. gosh, sometimes the awful smell is so bad, visiting a public toilet is like trying to commit suicide by the rotten perfume while taking a piss, and if your need is #2, only Jesus can save you.

Thanks to capitalism in downtown Colombo, some cleaners will charge a small fee for a bucket of water and reasonably well kept toilet, its still a visit to hell btw. today in ottawa i went to subway restaurant just wanting to use their restroom, the guy said, “sorry restrooms are for customers only”. gosh fucking capitalism wont’ even let you take a piss without making a buck out of you. such is the nature of things.

back to sri lanka, yes, public toilet systems are utter disgrace, its so bad, one i had to take a shit on top of somebody else’s left overs. The accumulation effect, one’s left over becomes another’s nightmare.

All this goes to show, how fucked up this world is, even small thing like a taking a shit at a public facility is so messed up. Because nobody cares, and everyone is waiting for the other guy to clean up, so responsibility is a waiting game, i wait for you, while you wait for me. Not to mention the tons of red tape one has to go thru to get anything done for the good of public users. because of the all rich fuckers goto the 5 star hotels to wipe their asses, yep they will give you the water in a golden bucket to clean your ass. goto a public place, you will face hell without dying.

With Equal Life Party, responsibility is not a waiting game, we don’t’ wait for anyone, and responsibility is not selective, we identify the problem, we solve the problem. all problems are our problems.  

Sanitation is a massive problem in the third world, i am speaking from personal experience, no stats are available on these matters, i mean who the fuck will go and collect stats on public toilet usage, capitalist might do that to make some money out of it.

And india is hell when it comes to public toilets, let me not goto that subject. One wonders’ with all their apparent education and high class intellectuals and what not, still can’t keep their public facilities clean. simple answer, no one has taken the responsibility, politicians are too busy making money, and everyone in between is doing the same, all trying to survive. who has the time nor the will to worry about public shit holes, its for the poor anyways.

With Equal Life Party, cleaning up and providing safe and healthy public facilities for every community, every town, every village is a top responsibility. This is not a joke, not a single party has addressed issues relating to public sanitation and facilities, of course why would they. They have better and more important things to do.

I am one vote for clean public facilities everywhere in the world, can’t have heaven on earth with stinking toilets. I am one vote for cleaning up this world, every public facility will be maintained to highest standards, This is our responsibility.

Equal Life Party is about caring about every aspect on this planet,